Here to There

wordless wednesday::faces

2012-02-08T08:14:00.000-05:00

it's not always about the smiles in front of the camera...

more wordless wednesday here and here.

baby steps: 2 years after our first step

2012-01-26T08:14:00.003-05:00

i've been thinking about writing this post for the past month now. the topic of money can be a sensitive and personal subject to address. and while i want to share with you our experience (not with the intention of coming across as "we're better than you" but more along the lines of "maybe sharing what we've done can help someone else so they don't make the same mistakes"), finding the right words to adequately express what we've gone through while maintaining our privacy has been tricky.

i've written posts about money before (here, here and here). mostly about how frustrated we are that we can't be better stewards of God's money. really, the frustration comes from the poor choices (a.k.a. sin) we've made about how we managed our money in the past, and how those choices have now limited our ability to share God's money with others. once God really opened our eyes to what we had done we were ready for change. of course, the change didn't come easy. at first it seemed like trying to change was trying to get out of a deep hole without anything to help pull you out of there. it was a lot easier to just give up...to keep submitting to temptation instead of standing our ground and trusting God will truly provide for our needs.

quite honestly, at first we didn't really know what that should look like. yeah, it meant making "sacrifices" in some of our spending choices, but i don't think we were really ready to commit to making the sacrifices needed to start getting out of our hole. but finally, there came a point where aaron and i were just done being stuck in the hole. we saw the big picture. for real. for the first time we really did see what the end goal would like. not just here on earth but in heaven. the eternal perspective. we can experience financial freedom so that we are free to give generously.

having debt does not bring God glory. we have been deeply convicted by this, and have ended up making some significant sacrifices this past year. that conviction has really transformed how we view the stuff that we have (and the choices we make) even more. i mean, why does it matter that we don't have X anymore, or that we can't buy Y? any stuff you accumulate you can't take with you when you die. and how do you even know if any of the stuff you deem special or meaningful will have the same impact on your kids? if God called you to give up all your possessions and told you to follow him would you be able to do it? if someone asked me that question even 5 years ago, deep down my truthful answer would have been no. but now? i would drop everything in a heartbeat. everything.

it has been freeing to let go of stuff and certain mindsets that have been shaped by worldly views. there are a lot of things that we've been made to believe that we "need" or so important that you must spend a good chunk of money on, and what we've realized is that's not the case at all. the most important thing is to love the Lord with all that you have. how does that look like practically? for us, the first step is to become completely debt free, and to wholeheartedly trust God in providing for our needs. and despite the sacrifices we've made, we have seen fruit. we have seen God work through this whole experience, and he has reaffirmed that the choice we made was definitely the way to go.

we still have work to do, but we know we're on the right track. there have been "road blocks" (and will probably be more along the way), but by God's grace we have been able to get around those. that eternal perspective has never been so clear to us, and is the driving force behind getting ourselves completely out of that hole.

*****

there are 2 books that i've read in the past year or so that have helped transform my perspective on money and stuff. the first: the treasure principle by randy alcorn. the second: the total money makeover by dave ramsey. obviously, they're not addressing anything new. the stuff both authors address are in the bible, but the practical applications/examples in both books are helpful in really understanding God's expectations when it comes to his money and his stuff. if you're married, i would recommend both of you read them so that both of you are on the same page allowing you to work as a team towards that end goal and sharing that same vision...that eternal perspective.

*****

Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

- 1 Timothy 6:6-10 -

wordless wednesday::cut and paste

2012-01-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

ever since he discovered scissors and glue, collages have been a new creative outlet for this boy...

more wordless wednesday here and here.

wordless wednesday::en vogue

2012-01-11T06:12:00.000-05:00

who wouldn't want to sport one of these?

more wordless wednesday here and here.

setting us straight and a new mindset

2012-01-08T14:46:00.000-05:00

i love purging stuff.

if aaron and i had it our way, we would probably be living a minimalist lifestyle. but kids have this knack for mysteriously accumulating stuff. actually, we all do. but it feels AMAZING when we get rid of stuff. not only does our house look less cluttered, i feel like my brain feels less cluttered.

we've been going in waves when it comes to purging our stuff. especially the kids' stuff. things that don't receive attention or not in use for the past year is given away (or thrown away if broken). clothes have been boxed and given away to friends or to goodwill. i had come to terms with the fact that baby cash was going to be our last baby and anything and everything that doesn't fit him has been given away. it wasn't easy at first, but then i became excited about the new phase in our life we were about to experience.

the diaper-less phase didn't seem so far away. the days when we don't have to worry about being home in time for naps seemed so close. it was exciting. and i truly couldn't wait.

*****

sometimes, God has to remind me that he is in control and i'm not. because quite frankly, i'm the type of person that would rather get things done on my own if i don't see results instead of patiently waiting for God's direction. when i start doing things my way, instead allowing God to take control and following his lead, things can get pretty messed up (including my own mental and spiritual state). i tend to start losing focus on what's really important and forget the big picture.

when that happens, i've noticed that God will do things to set me back on his path. those things can come in many forms, but each time it has happened i'm always glad i didn't get off the track too far.

the day after christmas we discovered some surprising news. after thinking with certainty that baby cash will forever be our baby we found out that the good Lord had other plans in store for us in that department. honestly, the news was received more with shock than with excitement. how can this be? seriously? impossible! i can't believe this!

we chose not to share the news with anyone at first, because i don't think we were able to quite fully process what was happening. but the more time has passed and the more that we share this good news with family and friends the more that i'm starting to change my mindset. i don't mean to imply (even from when we first found out) that this baby is going to be a burden on our family. that's not the case at all. i have full faith that God will provide for our needs. why else would he bless us with another baby? but i just have to backtrack a little. change my perspective back to how it was when i didn't know whether or not cash was going to be the last baby.

so for the next 7.5 months i will have to bid adieu to my beloved sushi, vino and brewskies, and cut back (big-time) on my coffee addiction. and while you may not find me showing much excitement at the moment, i can feel it creeping in...even as i write this post. our lives will forever be changed again, and what a blessing that will be!

wordless wednesday::getting the baby

2012-01-04T06:18:00.000-05:00

when the kids ask to get baby cash in the morning, this is how i usually find them...

more wordless wednesday here and here.

a look back :: 2011 ::

2011-12-31T23:03:00.000-05:00

wow. what a year...

ready to move forward to 2012. happy new year!

get up, stand up...

2011-12-29T07:48:00.001-05:00

...stand up for your right. get up, stand up. don't give up the fight (if you didn't get the reference check out this link).

yesterday, my sister-in-law and a friend of mine took part in a movement. a movement to educate. a movement to change public perception. a movement to normalize nursing (especially nursing in public).

this is not the first time i've written about breastfeeding in public. the last time was a short little post 5 years ago about a magazine cover showing a babe nursing. my views about breastfeeding since then haven't changed.

if you haven't already heard about it in the media, there was a national nurse-in yesterday at hundreds of targets across the nation (and canada too). the nurse-in was in response to one woman's experience while at a target breastfeeding her baby about a month ago (details found here). based on what i've read, it was not the first time target employees had given nursing mothers a hard time at their store (2006 incident here and 2009 incident here). while target policy apparently supports breastfeeding mothers, i think the consistency in training their employees about this policy is obviously lacking.

so why the big hub-bub about a national nurse-in? why not just have a nurse-in at that one particular target where the mother was harassed? honestly, i don't think a local nurse-in would be as effective. i think the purpose of the national nurse-in is really to change public perception on public nursing. to make it normal. not sexual or offensive or disgusting. how is it disgusting and sexual to provide your baby with nourishment? i think that part of the problem, when people view breastfeeding as offensive or disgusting, is attributed to the oversexualization of the female body. i loathe going by the victoria's secret where you see blown up models clothed in merely a bra and panties. or how about a mall? or some of the men's magazines we have around (maxim, sports illustrated swimsuit edition to name a few). i have an impressionable 14 year old son for pete's sake! how is he supposed to respect a woman's body, when the majority of imagery of women that he sees is about sex, sex and more sex?? i also have a beautiful, sensitive little girl. when she is exposed to a lot of the same imagery, what does that tell her about herself and her body? i was that girl. i remember feeling insecure about my self-image and seeing those magazines and catalogs only fueled my insecurities. thankfully, i have my sweet jesus who gives me security in who i am and how i look like (and also my husband...who pursues me daily like i'm one hot potato!).

but i digress. the national nurse-in...important? yes.

why? we want mothers to breastfeed their babies, because it's the perfect food for them. according to the world health organization, breastfeeding is recommended up to 2 years of age and beyond. we want mothers to be encouraged when nursing their babes, especially first time mothers. but when things like this target incident (or how about the victoria's secret one and the whole foods one) happen, it provides a barrier to breastfeeding mamas everywhere. if you are made to feel unwelcome each time you try to feed your hungry baby, then how much more will you continue to nurse your child? it isn't always convenient to pump (and for me personally, i had difficulty pumping for all my kids so if i had given up nursing i would have turned to formula early on). it takes time, and if you have more than 1 child finding time to sit and pump becomes even more difficult. so the national nurse-in is more about re-educating the public about breastfeeding and normalizing nursing.

our own personal nurse-in experience yesterday went quite well. we were a small group of 3 mamas (and 1 supportive friend), but it was great to be able to hang out and support one another. choosing to breastfeed in public is not always easy. as a first time mom, i was quite gun-shy about it at first. and if i hadn't had positive experiences and supportive family during those first few months i probably would have given up nursing after the "recommended" 6 months.

there was no negativity experienced by us in our target store. the employees were friendly, and though they were made aware (like all the other target stores nationwide) about the nurse-in i'm not sure if they knew that the 3 of us were the "protestors." and that's totally fine. the point of the nurse-in is to normalize breastfeeding. so if no one noticed or thought it was a big deal, then that's fantastic. because it shouldn't be a big deal. we had a couple of customers who chatted with us, but made no reference about the nurse-in. most of their comments were about our kids and how cute they were. but i know that this experience was not the same at all the targets. there were some who endured some negative comments, and even reading the comments on some of the media websites after the nurse-in coverage can be disheartening and hurtful. but again, that was the whole reason for the nurse-in. there's definitely so much more i can add to this post, but then it would turn into a post too long for anyone to want to read. plus, my children are calling me.

i don't know if we'll make the history books, per se, but it was an awesome experience to be a part of. i am thankful that where we are at, i can be a part of a supportive community that doesn't bash on women who choose to nurse their babes (privately or publicly).

it isn't about us. it's about our babies and their right to eat.

christmas day

2011-12-27T17:01:00.000-05:00

christmas day started early for us. and i mean early. as i came down to nurse cash, emma's light was already on in her room. and that was 5 a.m.

an hour later, the loud pattering of gibson's feet were heard as i lay half asleep with cash in his room. i wasn't ready to get up that early, but by 6:30 even baby cash was bright-eyed and bushy tailed.

we dug into our stockings and found some wonderful surprises.

"magic towels" for the kiddos kept them entertained (and got my floors cleaned) while breakfast was baking in the oven.

we sang happy birthday and enjoyed some very tasty monkey bread before continuing with our christmas day festivities.

after a few swigs of coffee for mom and dad, we were all ready to open our gifts. emma was an old pro, while gibson took a while to get used to "the process." we started off slow. the kids opened a few gifts and then wanted to play with them instead of opening more (i'm totally okay with that!).

but little by little, we made our way through the pile of gifts under our tree.

many thanks to everyone who gave so generously! and so thankful we were able to skype with my family on christmas day. we miss you guys!

happy merry christmas!

2011-12-25T08:36:00.000-05:00

wordless wednesday::who's been busy?

2011-12-21T08:53:00.000-05:00

christmas preparations have been in full effect for the past couple of weeks. plenty of making, wrapping, sending...it has been a flurry of fabrics, thread, paper, tape, chocolate, flour and icing.

what's your holiday to do list looking like as we approach christmas?

more wordless wednesday here and here.

wordless wednesday::double trouble?

2011-12-14T07:17:00.000-05:00

our little jameson with his namesake...

more wordless wednesday here and here.

wordless wednesday::a friendship

2011-12-07T07:37:00.000-05:00

same event then and now...

"Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find." - William Shakespeare

more wordless wednesday here and here.

reconnecting: time out for us

2011-12-06T15:56:00.000-05:00

with the hectic holiday schedule beginning to pick up (longer hours for my man and additional projects for me), reconnecting as a family becomes even more important.

how do we do this as a family? there are set things we do together as a family during the holiday season, which allows us to reconnect and slow down. it's not an elaborate list, and we're not legalistic about it or anything. but aaron and i do plan out a few things. we sit down for a few minutes and talk about december schedules (mostly his since it gets pretty crazy for him at work) then figure out what things we'd like to do (some may be different from last year while others are established family traditions). we keep it simple which minimizes stress and allows us to focus on the reconnecting part of the activity.

why is this important to us? we need to be intentional about carving out time together otherwise we become distracted with other things, and then time together is lost in the hustle and bustle of finding gifts, making gifts, aaron's work, baking, parties, aaron's work, events, christmas cards, aaron's work. pretty soon you find yourself waking up christmas day and realizing that you need a vacation!

what are some of the things we do each year? there are a few family-togetherness activities we do that are the same each year. one is trimming the tree. this is usually the first of our reconnection points, and the kick-off to our holiday traditions (for more on our family's christmas traditions, check out the links at the end of this post). the second is our jesse tree, which is another family tradition that has been going strong for the past 3 years.

other things we do that may change each year include our alternative black friday activity during the thanksgiving holiday weekend, visiting downtown cleveland's tower city, bazaar bizarre and the cleveland handmade holiday markets, and seeing the griswold-esque christmas lights display.

here is more information on our own christmas traditions:
:: jesse tree ::
:: christmas tree decorating ::
:: gifts and stockings ::
:: christmas cards ::
:: the night before christmas ::

black friday and winterfest sensory overload

2011-12-05T10:52:00.000-05:00

much like years past, black friday for us does not involve getting up in the wee hours of the morning (or nowadays it's more like staying up until the clock strikes 12). well, except for my husband who has to work the day after thanksgiving.

we are not fans of the whole black friday thing anyway. the madness and long lines just to save some money? don't get me wrong, i'm all for living frugally and managing your money wisely, but i don't think it's worth the craziness of black friday. and it makes me cringe a little thinking about what that whole day represents (at least to us).

i just don't see how i can support a shopping day where people fight each other for the same item to the point of injury (or ignoring someone who needed help). it's appalling. and what about the workers at these big box retailers? you have some stores opening up at midnight or even on thanksgiving day. some of these people are missing out on family time just so that they can serve the needs of consumers hunting for bargains on things they probably can live without? i know what that's like. i'm married to a man who has a job where the busiest time of year is this time of year. the weeks before christmas mean longer hours (for the same pay). the days leading up to christmas day means our kids don't see him at all (one day he was at work at 5 a.m. and didn't get home until almost 9 p.m.), and i am left with an exhausted husband. we have dealt with this every year for the past 8 or 9 years, and i can't say that i've gotten used to it. i've learned to expect the worst in december, but it doesn't get any easier. while i am thankful that he has a job, and that the busy season means money coming in for his company (which means he can continue to get paid), it's hard to find joy in the reason why he's busy: consumers doing what they do best.

maybe instead spending money on more stuff, we learn to live with less. maybe instead of buying the xbox or flat screen TV at a huge discount, save your money and wait for the item to go on sale at another time of year. or maybe consider not getting it and be content with that smaller TV or the more dated game system. or buy used and create less waste. what do our actions represent on black friday when we choose to participate in all that madness? what exactly are we supporting? i'm not saying you shouldn't go shopping at all, but maybe re-examine the intention behind choosing to shop on that particular day.

*****

so what did we do on black friday? well, we did spend a little money. but instead of heading out to the chain stores at midnight and fighting the crowds we hit the local shops. as i mentioned here, room service had their made in the 216 holiday shoppe opening that night so that's where we headed.

like years past, i have never been disappointed at the quality and variety this store has to offer. their holiday shoppe always features a nice selection of local artists, from clothing, jewelry and other accessories to paper goods and kids' toys.

then we hopped over next door to say hello at another local favorite, salty not sweet. i found thee perfect gift for someone. and i mean perfect (at least in my opinion). and it worked out because i didn't have a clue yet what to do for this particular recipient. i'm just a little excited over the find. just a little.

the following day, we decided to check out winterfest in downtown cleveland after aaron got off work. when we went last year, we had a great experience checking out the gingerbread homes and tooling around downtown that we figured we'd try that again this year. note to self, if we go downtown for winterfest again we need to go in the morning or early afternoon. by the time we arrived, the streets were blocked off and there were TONS of people. tower city was packed. people spilled out into public square. there were people, people and more people.

oh yeah, and we saw some lights, and i think some gingerbread houses and more people. while it's fantastic to see such a great turnout for cleveland's tree lighting event, being crammed like sardines and worrying that my little ones are going to be swept away by a sea of people is not my idea of fun.

it was definitely one of those experiences where you were glad to be able to go do it once (so that you could say that you did go), but probably won't do again in the future. as emma so eloquently stated about her winterfest experience (and i think she spoke for all of us): "i'm ready to go home."

so we did.

do something: 2011 holiday shopping edition

2011-11-25T17:11:00.000-05:00

well, so much for bringing back these posts every friday, huh?

now that thanksgiving is over, we can officially start the christmas celebration...at least that's what i think.

while you can certainly engage in the holiday shopping madness by stopping by your local mall or wal-mart, i would highly encourage you to take step back and pause for a moment before you get going down that route.

if you've followed this blog long enough, you know that we are a family that strives to support local, independent business as much and as often as our budget will allow. why local? well, the most obvious reason is that the majority of the money you spend will stay right here in cleveland. what happens when you do that? well, it stimulates the local economy (check out this website for a super cool idea). and when the local economy is booming then people have jobs, which means more people have money to spend, and if spent locally then the local economy continues to thrive, and it's like this fantastically, wonderful circle!

so how does that look like? well, that my friends, will have to be saved for another post. for now, i'm going to provide you a sampling of some FABULOUS local alternatives in the cleveland area as you prepare for your holiday shopping adventure. these places feature many local artists and independent businesses that you can support instead of the usual big box stores.

markets and craft fairs:

1. cleveland handmade market at tower press. saturday december 3 from 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. at 1900 superior avenue in cleveland.

2. winterfest village at winterfest. saturday november 26 from 3 p.m. - 7 p.m. on public square in downtown cleveland.

3. bazaar bizarre. saturday december 10 from 10 a.m - 9 p.m. and sunday december 11 from 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. at the 78th street studios in cleveland.

4. last minute market. saturday december 17 from 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. at 1300 athens avenue in lakewood.

5. cleveland craft coalition's handmade holiday show. friday december 16 from 7 p.m. - 10 p.m. and saturday december 17 from 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. at breakneck gallery in lakewood.

independent shops:

1. room service located at 2078 w. 25th street in ohio city. today is the kick off to their annual made in the 216 holiday shoppe, which features many talented local artists!

2. salty not sweet located at 2074 w. 25th street in ohio city. they offer some super cool handmade products that will surely please everyone on your christmas shopping list. and with room service being their next door neighbors...can i just say one stop shopping?

3. cosmic bobbins pop-up shop located on 2406 professor avenue in tremont. they will be open through december 22 and offer a fantastic mix of their own products and other local artists.

4. yellowcake pop-up shop located on w. 65th street and detroit avenue in the gordon square arts district. yellowcake is valerie mayen's super-fantastic clothing label. if you've never checked out one of her pop-up shops then take this opportunity to get yourself over to w. 65th and see what it's all about.

5. gordon square holiday market located on 6710 detroit avenue in the gordon square arts district. this pop-up shop features an assortment of wares from local cleveland artists to meet your holiday shopping needs. throw in a little yellowcake, sweet moses and gypsy bean coffee (plus plenty of other independent shops in that neighborhood) and you're set for the day!

6. crafty goodness located on 1562 madison avenue in lakewood. this shop features all locally made products and has a very eclectic mix. there is something for everyone here!

7. native cleveland located on 15813 waterloo road in cleveland. this shop features handmade items all from the cleveland area and offers many pro-cleveland wares.

quite honestly, i could go on (there are so many that i didn't even mention). but i won't because if i do i will end up with a super crabby baby that has missed his nap all because his mama took forever to finish up this list.

and now i leave it up to you. this city is chalk full of independent businesses and local artisans. if you take the time and explore you might find yourself pleasantly surprised by what the locals have to offer.

happy shopping!

wordless wednesday::wielding scissors

2011-11-23T07:29:00.000-05:00

a new found discovery in using scissors has resulted in lots of busy cutting, shredding and chopping of paper.

let's just hope it doesn't get turned into a weapon...

more wordless wednesday here and here.

getting off the fence - part 1

2011-11-12T17:12:00.000-05:00

your child's education.

i think most parents would agree that this is an important (and at times very sensitive) subject, and not one to be taken lightly. it's definitely a hot topic, wouldn't you say? we want what's best for our children, and having them receive a quality education would definitely be up there.

but what does that look like? does it mean moving into a neighborhood where, based on test scores and other measures of success, the schools (or district) perform well? does it mean sending your kids to private school, where you are pretty much guaranteed (at least this is my impression...and i don't mean this in a negative way at all) an outstanding, well-rounded education? does it mean you do it yourself and provide a home education?

quite honestly, i don't know. there are so many factors to think about when considering what's best for your child's education.

for a long time i always thought all our kids would go to traditional school. i went to traditional school (private and public), and so did my husband. when we were in seattle, ty was attending the public school that was outside of our neighborhood zone. why? because based on it's history, they provided better educational opportunities than our neighborhood school. when we moved here, the school district's performance was one of the reasons we moved into that neighborhood, and it's encouraging to be in a community where we see many parents willing to take the time to be involved in their children's schools.

over the years, as we have done research into educational approaches and methods to assist ty in improving his school performance, i discovered home education. the term "homeschool" was not foreign to me, but i definitely had my preconceived notions about the idea of homeschooled kids and homeschooling in general (i might have to save this for another post). i also didn't think i could handle such a huge responsibility. i mean, educating my own children (ah, the irony in that sentence...)?? sure i went to college, but i don't have a teaching license. and what if i miss teaching them something important and they fail school. i thought, no way. homeschooling would not be for me...although...maybe i might borrow some of their educational approaches to help my own kids if they happen to struggle in school...

i have found lots of helfpul homeschooling websites, read a fair amount of books about homeschooling and inquired other homeschooling mothers about home education in the past 5 years. the ideas and approaches presented made sense to me. the information i gleaned from those sources have been used to help ty in school, and it has also helped shape and define our personal educational philosophy.

the more i researched about homeschooling the more i began to question whether or not continuing the legacy of traditional schooling was right for our family. the flexibility (of time, methods, curriculum) was VERY appealing, but the whole idea seemed daunting (especially in ohio where you are required to submit a curriculum to the district each year). back and forth we went. should we or shouldn't we? are we capable? do we have time? what if we mess up?

we started with baby steps. we opted out of preschool for emma, and figured if this is the road God wants us to take then the choice to homeschool (or not to homeschool) would be clear to us. we have not regretted the decision to keep her out of preschool. and i learned a lot in those "preschool" years with emma. i learned that i don't have to be perfect (much like i don't expect teachers to be perfect, either). i learned that as parents *we* are the primary educators of our children whether or not they're homeschooled. i learned that simply experiencing the day to day provides many, many learning opportunities.

so what am i saying? well folks, if you haven't already figured it out, after sitting on the fence about this homeschooling business we've decided to get off. more like jump off, full-speed ahead into home education. no more getting our feet wet. we are in all the way.

we are committed. we are excited. we are ready.

wordless wednesday::put on a happy face

2011-11-09T07:26:00.000-05:00

more wordless wednesday here and here.

pumpkins and little mexican wrestlers

2011-10-31T10:24:00.000-04:00

after 6 years of hosting our BYOP extravaganza, we decided to take a break this year. there's been a lot going on these past few months, so we thought we'd keep it low-key by having some family pumpkin carving time. (BUT don't fret. that doesn't mean that we won't ever host another one. i'm thinking we'll definitely bring it back next year!)

it was a nice, chill evening of digging out pumpkin guts, carving, and roasting pumpkin seeds.

the kids and their pumpkins

i think the kids were quite pleased with their pumpkins. props to their parents for doing all the carving (except for ty who obviously managed just fine on his own).

all lit up

now it's time to dig out the candy stash for tonight's trick-or-treaters. and if you are over 10 years old and still dressing up to go get candy be prepared to do a trick. if you don't, i might have to send my little mexican wrestlers after you.

my mexican wrestlers will take you down

:: 8/12 ::

2011-10-27T08:54:00.000-04:00

sweet baby cash,

i'm sorry i let 2 weeks pass by before posting this. but here it is now, your 8 month post....

oh how i have tried to cherish each baby moment with you, for you will forever be the baby of the family (unless God has other plans for us).

you are enjoying the experience of trying new foods, and much like your brother and sister when they were babies, i have a feeling that eating adventures will be a source of joy and excitement for you.

just in the past 2 weeks or so you have made many attempts to go mobile...getting on your hands and knees, rocking back and forth or pushing off your feet (like a little yoga baby doing downward facing dog). i don't think it will be long before you'll be getting into everything!

you know who your brothers and sister are, and perk up when you hear their voices. even while you nurse (which i believe is one of your most favorite activities) you will stop and crane your neck to find them.

you do much the same with your daddy. and even flash him a snarly little smile.

you are definitely coming into your own, my little peanut. you are particularly discerning when it comes to eating your food, nursing, and sometimes even the length of time daddy can hold you before you are ready to be handed back to mama.

i love your sweet face. i love your sweet smile. i love listening to your babbling and that from-the-belly laughter. i love the quiet moments we have before bed and when you wake up. when it's just the two of us. your little baby hand on my face...

sometimes i want you to stay a baby for a little while longer. maybe instead of having 12 months equal a year we can do 18 months equal a year? and then i'll be ready for you to grow up a little bit more. i think.

wordless wednesday::apples out our ears

2011-10-26T08:41:00.002-04:00

30 pounds of apples. drizzly rain. wet bodies. warm cider. honey sticks. happy family.
(oh and 2 dozen free-range eggs. yeah!)

more wordless wednesday here and here.

fun with my sewing machine

2011-10-20T10:30:00.002-04:00

sometimes you never know when you'll use something you learned in school. and lately, i've been really glad that i paid enough attention in my 8th grade home ec class (and retained it for that long) to put together a few things with my sewing machine.

1. a little wrap skirt and a hair tie for my niece's 1st birthday.

this little number was the 2nd clothing project i've ever attempted (this was the first). i found the basic pattern from the craftster forum, and after perusing the internet on a variety of takes on the wrap skirt i decided to widen the waistband, add a buttonhole and use a contrasting (yet complementary) fabric. since i didn't have mira's exact measurements, i used a 12-18 month onesie to guesstimate her waist. i also added a little pocket (because i love pockets on skirts) and a little hand-embroidered birdie.

for the hair tie, i used this tutorial for rolled rosettes (by the way, her blog has some really cool stuff). i added the little button and then sewed one of those little fabric elastic hair ties to the back side.

now i'm just waiting for my sister to take some photos of mira in them. come on, sis!

2. baby shoes for baby cash.

quite honestly, i never thought i'd be making a pair of baby shoes, though i love them on my babies. i have always bought them, and i used to recommend robeez for little baby feet. that is, until they outsourced their labor. by the time gibson was a wee babe, robeez were no longer made in canada and you could tell the difference in quality. emma had 2 pairs of robeez (one she used while she was in the crawling and cruising stage) and they both outlasted her feet. we bought 1 pair for gibson (which were made in china) and they lasted maybe only 6 months. and by that time there were holes on the toes and the shoes were pretty much crapped out (very disappointing). so, when we had baby cash i knew i didn't want to go back to buying robeez.

anyway...i had considered purchasing a pair on etsy (there are some ADORABLE ones out there), but since we're on a tight budget it was hard for me to justify the $20 purchase. especially since baby cash will forever be the baby in the family (if you catch my drift). so why not learn a new skill and use up some of my fabric scraps? if i botched the project completely at least i didn't spend money on it.

after much searching, i finally decided to go with this pattern. i like this one because they're similar to the robeez and they're reversible. i used flannel on one side and cotton for the other side. they turned out great! except they fit his baby feet just right. that's not going to work when the snow rolls in.

his second pair fit much better. i can even use socks with them. i think they're closer to a 6-12 month size so they should last him for a while. for this pair i used flannel for both sides, which will be perfect for winter!

i am loving these baby shoes and i think i want to make more. maybe put a few in my shop? wouldn't that be fun.

3. felt crayon holder with drawing pad for my 3 year old nephew.

i've wanted to try making one of these for quite some time, but just hadn't gotten around to it. i'm so glad i did! i found the tutorial for the project here, except i didn't use a red flower for the front. i decided to go with a felt fire truck and used blue and gray felt (sorry no pictures for this one). i also changed the size of the holder to accommodate a 6 x 9 in. note pad, which i thought would be a better size for drawing and such.

i thought the project turned out pretty good. felt is funny to work with. though it's nice that it can easily stretch when you need it to, it's not so nice when you end up with excess fabric after sewing everything together, even though you measured everything out correctly. i'm thinking i might try doing this project again in regular fabric, and maybe just use ribbon to tie the holder together instead of hooking it to a button.

*****

besides bonding time with my sewing machine, life has been busy and full of transitions.

i miss blogging. can you tell by the long-winded explanations for my 3 crafty endeavors? i wish i could blog a little more consistently, but there are days (and sometimes weeks) when i need to prioritize and blogging just doesn't seem to make it up there.

i haven't even been taking pictures. at least not as often as i used to.

but my minds keeps writing. i write things up in my head, with hopes of recalling them later. when i have time to sit down and write it out. i miss my planner. ha! i do (it's actually just a little lined notebook, nothing fancy). i haven't used it since cash was born. it's sitting somewhere collecting dust. it should really be called my brain organizer, because i use it to organize all the stuff whirling around in my head: craft ideas, blog posts, school ideas, house work, baking experiments, follow-up calls, e-mails, my shop...it goes on and on.

and now that there's a little activity on here, i'm going to do my best to at least post something once a week. and if i can do that well, maybe i'll take it up a notch and do twice a week.

little by little. baby steps. until i'm caught up. though does that ever really happen?

wordless wednesday::like alice

2011-10-19T10:13:00.000-04:00

more wordless wednesday here and here.

wordless wednesday::love my dad

2011-09-28T07:05:00.000-04:00

more wordless wednesday here and here.

wordless wednesday::the show must go on

2011-09-21T07:30:00.000-04:00

more wordless wednesday here and here.

do something: weekend sept. 16 - 18

2011-09-16T15:30:00.000-04:00

it's back! i know it has been quite a long while since i posted a list of cool, local, non-mall activities around town. but that doesn't mean there hasn't been anything going on. did you know that there's always something going on in this city? at least to me.

well, i figure i would pick a weekend to start this series back up where there would be 5 gazillion things going on. sound good? here are some of the things we think may be worth checking out...

9.16

tonight is the kick-off to cleveland's annual ingenuity fest, a festival held at the detroit-shoreway bridge that blends art and technology together. if you've never been, it is worth checking out. seriously! from the past couple of years that we've attended, there have always been very interesting and unique art exhibits (some are even interactive). the kids have always enjoyed going, and we're hoping to find time this weekend to check it out. the event goes from 5 p.m. - 1 a.m. friday, 12 p.m. - 1 a.m. saturday and 12 p.m. - 5 p.m. sunday. and...it's FREE!! be sure to check their website for a schedule of events.

9.17

the 13th annual tremont arts and cultural festival starts this day from 11 a.m. - 6 p.m. and then sunday from 12 p.m. - 5 p.m. at lincoln park. we've actually never been to this event before, and it's not because we don't want to. it seems that there's always a conflict with time each time we want to go. there looks to be a great line up of performers including some dance (!!!) from antaeus dance and morrisondance, resident dance companies in the ohio city/tremont neighborhood. admission is free, but parking will probably be tricky. if you can carpool, do it. if you can bus, do it. if you decide to drive, be prepared to walk.

the madison avenue art walk in lakewood will be going on from 12 p.m. - 7 p.m. if you are in the area, be sure to check out some of the local shops on madison, including crafty goodness and breakneck gallery (newly opened), which will be featuring local art, and decorate the sidewalk with your very own chalk art!

9.18

if you have ever want to go back in time and get a taste of what the early ohio settlers experienced then the cedar valley settlers celebration and music festival is for you! actually, even if you're not really into historical experiences like that, i would still highly recommend going. we went last year, though only for the tail end of the festival. but even the half-hour we spent was chalk full of interesting stuff! emma had fun pounding corn into flour and even though ty didn't admit it, i think he had a good time making those buckeye bolos! come out to the rocky river reservation from 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. and enjoy a little taste of history and the outdoors!

if you love oysters like i do then you won't want to miss the 1st annual oyster festival held at stone mad pub in tremont. this event takes place from 1 p.m. - 7 p.m. with live music from bands including the boys from county hell (if you like the pogues then you will enjoy these guys), an oyster shucking contest and some good, ol' oysters to eat to your hearts content. yum!

i feel like i don't want to miss any of these events, but alas we will most likely have to pick and choose considering my cane-strutting, gimpy husband. though i wonder if target would be willing to lend us one of those electric carts for the weekend? then we might just be in business...

have a fantastic, cleveland weekend!

*oh, and if you want to find out what else is going on around town check out this post from unmiserable cleveland. didn't i tell you there's 5 gazillion things going on this weekend?

wordless wednesday::death by squirrel

2011-09-14T10:23:00.000-04:00

remember the avocado seed?

we planted it with high hopes of successful growth...

then 2 days later...

lesson: keep avocado seedling inside to avoid death by squirrel.

more wordless wednesday here and here.

when life gives you lemons...

2011-09-02T15:17:00.001-04:00

why is it when something crappy happens, there's 2 or 3 or more crappy/pain-in-the-butt things that happen soon after? they always comes in huge waves, so that it makes one big happy crappy party.

at least that's the case for me.

then it seems like 5 million different things need to be addressed, fixed, attended to, etc. in addition to the day-to-day i'm supposed to stay on top of, to the point where i could easily get overwhelmed and let the waves overtake me.

when this happens there are 2 things i could do.

1. shut down. a.k.a. ignore all the problems, hide, shopping therapy, lock myself up in a room and never come out until the 2nd coming, turn to alcohol, turn to drugs, turn to some other sort of addiction, run away, relocate and start a new identity...

2. take the bull by the horns and roll with it. a.k.a. trust that God is in control of the situation and seek his wisdom, strength, grace and mercy to help me get through it.

i know option 1 is much easier. i've even chosen it a few times. it sure makes the problem(s) disappear, but they never really go away, do they? eventually it comes back and you're faced with the decision (again) to choose between option 1 and option 2.

so, the past few months have been a doozy. i really want to keep this blog updated, and not just with photos but with actual written content as well. but life is taking over and it's taking over now. there's just been a lot going on (you know that happy crappy party i mentioned, earlier?) that requires a lot of me not being on the computer. and the times i have to myself have primarily been used to catch up on daily obligations that i'm falling behind on. as a result, by the time i'm actually "done" for the day, i'm REALLY done. my brain and my body is maxed out, and my soft bed lures me in before i can even say "facebook."

i'm not abandoning this blog. once the "dust settles," my goal is to get back on a regular posting schedule, but at this point the posts will seem a bit more sporadic. a little here, a lot there, or none at all for a few weeks.

i just have to tend to a few things...so that the waves don't end up overtaking me.

lucky number 7

2011-08-21T14:54:00.000-04:00

today, my husband and are celebrating our 7th anniversary. it didn't seem that long ago when we celebrated our 1 year...going to church for the last time in seattle, and then loading our car for the long journey to the 216.

i don't know that luck has anything to do with 7 years of marital bliss...more like God's grace if anything.

from our first adventure as a married couple to the here and now, i am thankful that with each new unknown i get to spend it with my best friend and the man God has provided for me.

our homemade yogurt

2011-08-16T15:54:00.001-04:00

after a year or so of thinking about making yogurt myself and researching the methods of safely making it at home, i decided to finally do it.

there is plenty of information out on the web about making homemade yogurt that it can seem a little daunting. especially the whole incubating process. leaving milk in a warm place for 12 hours doesn't sound very safe to me. but i've tried our yogurt a few times since making it, and i'm still here so the process must be safe, right?

i ended up using a 4 different tutorials as the basis of my yogurt making, just to make sure that i didn't mess things up. the first three are from soule mama, granola mom for god and blooming glen farm, which offer pretty much the same instructions. it made me feel better to see that the basic process was the same, and that small variations were okay and didn't mess up the final product. the fourth site is pretty awesome because it was compiled by a biology and chemistry professor and titled, yogurt making illustrated. reading about the scientific aspects of yogurt making was very helpful, because it gave me peace of mind that i'm not going to become deathly ill from trying to make my own yogurt. plus it gave me a better understanding of the purpose behind each step, and how flexible i can be at each point in the yogurt making process.

though i'll share how i ended up making mine, i won't go into too much detail since the above links have already provided much of the information needed about yogurt making. so, here we go...

i used 1 quart commercial (rbst free) milk for our yogurt. 1 quart of milk will make 1 quart of yogurt. i ended up making a 2nd batch of yogurt the next day because 1 quart didn't look like it was going to last us very long. i just poured the milk into the jar i was going to use for the yogurt to measure the correct amount.

pour it in a pot and heat to 180 degrees F, stirring occasionally. note: do not go and feed your baby thinking that it will be plenty of time before the milk gets to the correct temperature. i did that on the first attempt and heated the milk way too hot (which apparently can affect how the yogurt comes together).

while the milk is being heated, rinse out the jar you used to measure out the milk. put the jar and the lid in a large pot of water and boil for 10 minutes to sanitize and kill any potential bad bacteria. after boiling for 10 minutes, turn off heat and leave in the pot.

after it reaches 180, let the milk cool to 110ish degrees F. i cooled mine to 115, but some of the sites above mention 110 or even 120. it's important to note, though, that if the milk is not cooled enough (above 120) it can kill the live cultures that you're going to add into your milk.

while your milk is cooling you can take out the sanitized jar and lid from the pot and let it dry on a super clean drying rack. the other option is to have the jar(s) super clean ahead of time. whichever ends up being easier. the most important thing is to make sure they're clean. also use this time to heat up some water (i just reheated the water used for sanitizing the jar) to about 115-120 degrees.

once your milk is cooled between 110-120 degrees, pour it into your jar(s). put about 4 Tbs of plain yogurt (with live cultures) in the jar, or you can save some of your previously made yogurt, and mix. the yogurt illustrated site calls this point inoculation. he, he. so scientific, eh? the measured amount doesn't have to be exact. i just used a regular table spoon instead of an actual measuring spoon. some of the sites above tell you to inoculate (ooOOhh) while the milk is in the pot. either way it doesn't matter, just as long as you mix in some of the live cultures. after inoculation, cover jar with lid.

pour your preheated 115-120 degree water into a cooler. place the jar in the cooler. i had my water level at about half way up the jar. close up the cooler and place in a spot where it won't get moved. you can cover the cooler with additional blankets or towels to keep it warm, but i don't know that it's absolutely necessary. you can try out other methods to incubate your yogurt, but the cooler one works best for us.

incubate for 8-12 hours. i left both of mine for 10 hours. the flavor and smell was pretty much the same as the tub of plain yogurt i used to buy at trader joe's. if you leave the yogurt in the fridge for a couple of hours after incubation, it will thicken it up a bit. the longer you incubate, the more tart the flavor (and i think it thickens up a bit more too, though i'm no sure...guess you'll have to try it out). i think next time, i'll let it go for 12 hours. i like my plain yogurt a little more on the tart side so that i can use it as a substitute for sour cream.

if you decide to give it a go, i recommend reading through the yogurt illustrated site. it was such a light bulb moment for me, and kept me from worrying about the possibility of accidentally growing bad bacteria. and even though the process seemed complicated, it was actually much simpler than i anticipated.

so now i am totally sold on making homemade yogurt, and can't believe i've waited so long to try! i don't think i'll go back to spending my usual $3.50 on 2lbs. of plain yogurt ever again. well, maybe when convenience and saving time trumps over saving money.

:: 6/12 ::

2011-08-13T17:43:00.000-04:00

happy (1 day late) half-birthday, baby cash!

i cannot believe that in 6 more months you will be a whole year old, my dear boy.

here are some things i am loving about you right. now.

1. your baby coos, aaahhs, and giggles! they are so ridiculously sweet.

2. your big smile each time you see emma walk in the room. you just love your big sis, and it's so precious watching her interact with him. she is such a mother hen.

3. your baby smell. mmmmm!

4. your little hands reaching up to touch my face when you nurse. *sigh* i forgot how i miss those moments.

5. your sweet, little, kissable baby face.

6. that little birdie mouth thing you do when you're hungry. i don't know what it is, but i love when babies do the little birdie mouth. so cute.

it has been fun watching all the changes taking place as the months go by. however, i have to admit that i don't want time to keep going forward so that you can stay my little sweet baby forever.

sweet baby cash, you are such a sweet addition to our family. always remember that we love you!

wordless wednesday::the avocado seed

2011-08-10T10:39:00.000-04:00

it has been so cool (especially for the kids) to watch this seed grow...

more wordless wednesday here and here.

wordless wednesday::reason for baking

2011-08-03T07:45:00.001-04:00

more wordless wednesday here and here.

snippets: life in motion take 3

2011-08-02T08:10:00.003-04:00

we have been loving summer, loving the outdoors and loving being in the moment. we have been busy. there's been a lot going on (the good, the bad and the mediocre), and so blogging has sometimes taken a back seat (and believe me, i have so many blog posts written out in my head that i would love to type up).

*****

:: take 1 ::

:: take 2 ::

dancin' in the street

2011-07-29T07:30:00.000-04:00

another year, another streetwalk! i know last year i mentioned that i was a little disappointed in the event compared to previous years, but the organizers this year did an excellent job. i thought the length was just right (3-7 p.m.), and there were plenty of activities going on at different points on the street pretty much the whole time.

we ran into many familiar faces along the way, and it made the streetwalk experience so much more enjoyable that way.

the kids had fun (although...don't ask about the thunderstorm and emma's dramatics that happened while we were at the root for dinner post streetwalk). the parents had fun. it was a good day.

busy fingers

2011-07-28T08:30:00.000-04:00

i don't know if you've noticed, but it has been rather quiet around here (there are a few spurts here and there, but nothing consistent. right?). aside from the fact that it's summer and we're spending more time outside rather than holed up inside, i have been busy working on a few projects.

there have been a few birthday projects like this personalized hairband...

custom work (10 monogrammed cuffs) for a soon to be married couple's groomsmen...

a pair of shorts from bed sheets for the dude (because i ran out of clean ones for him to wear)...

and custom work for a very particular little girl which i FINALLY finished after starting it 4 months ago...

i've had a few days free from sewing and embroidery work, which has allowed me to catch up on other things (umm...like updating this poor, neglected blog). but i don't think i can stay away for long. i feel my fingers itching to stitch again.

wordless wednesday::more love

2011-07-27T10:14:00.002-04:00

the heart is an amazing thing. just when you think it's filled to capacity with love, when you think you are loving as much as you possibly can, there's always room for more. so much more to the point of love overflowing...

more wordless wednesday here and here.

snippets: life in motion take 2

2011-07-26T09:59:00.001-04:00

*****

:: take 1 ::

right now

2011-07-13T16:45:00.000-04:00

i feel like i'm living in a dream. i feel exhausted. so tired yet my brain won't turn off to allow for rest, because it's going a mile a minute...

(maybe if i just write it all out...)

...thoughts that consume me of people i love that are experiencing much pain. it is a welcome "burden" to be praying for them daily. even to the point that i can't fall asleep until i have done so.

it's hard to watch things fall apart before your very eyes. seeing devastation that affects me and the people i love. it's hard because you feel like there's nothing you can do. it feels so out of control. it feels hopeless.

a friend of ours offered some very wise words last night that i've been mulling over all day:

"there needs to be brokenness before healing can happen."

when things fall apart, don't make sense or feel out of control all i can do is hold on to the only truth i have: Jesus.

i know he is in control, and all i need to do is trust, even when i have no idea what will happen. now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control. at present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him (hebrews 2:8).

i know in all this brokenness he brings us redemption, healing, grace and mercy, because his love for us goes beyond our understanding. for as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us, as a father shows compassion on his children, so the lord shows compassion to those who fear him (psalm 103:11-13).

i don't know what the future holds, and i don't know how things will work out. but i have faith that God will work things out. now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (hebrews 11:1).

there is still so much going on. so much to consider. so much to understand. so much to pray for. but despite all that i am thankful that i have hope...

"

wordless wednesday::lil' entrepreneur

2011-07-13T10:53:00.001-04:00

more wordless wednesday here and here.

snippets: life in motion take 1

2011-07-11T09:38:00.000-04:00

*****

snippets of our summer days...

block it up :: version 1.0 ::

2011-07-04T15:20:00.000-04:00

what makes a block party? the food? the music? the activities? the weather? obviously, they can contribute into making any party (not just a block party) fun, but i think PEOPLE are really what makes a party successful.

threats of rain and thunderstorms held off long enough for our street's very first block party. we had such a fantastic time, and loved being able to chat with our neighbors. the kids played hard and made some new friends. the grown ups played hard and made some new friends. and by the end of the night everyone slept quite soundly!

there was a ton of food, many activities and a great turn out. many thanks to the local businesses that donated to the event: buckeye beer engine (yes, you should be jealous of the delicious brewskie i got to sample), rozi's wine house, and lakewood YMCA to name a few.

it was awesome to see community support for the event, and for our street to come together and party! thanks, neighbors!

i spy with my little eye

2011-06-29T22:06:00.000-04:00

so the other day, as aaron and i were walking to the beer engine for our date (which was super-fantastic, in case you're wondering), there was a little window display that caught my eye.

i have this little love for vintage things. i don't know why. maybe it's because there's a story behind them. maybe it's because it was part of a time period in which i would never be able to experience first-hand. maybe it's me subconsciously longing for simpler times? hmmm...i really don't know.

anyway, the little window display that caught my eye showcased a stunning vintage blue dress.

i think to myself: oooooh! that's new. is that a vintage store??

my husband noticed my hesitation to continue on to our final destination.

yes, we can stop by there and take a look. [he read my mind! how did he do that?]

we take a short detour. as we approach: shop closed. drats!

the lights inside were on, so i peeked in to see if i could figure out what the place was all about. not much inside except for a gal busy on her sewing machine.

she was so sweet and invited us in for a bit. as it turns out, she runs a little business specializing in custom-made vintage reproduction dresses called porshes place. all the photos you see in this post are some of my personal favorites from her etsy shop.

aren't they fantastic? anyway, i thought i'd share one of my newest 216 finds. be sure to keep her in mind the next time you're looking for that perfect vintage dress!

wordless wednesday::my strawbaby

2011-06-22T11:43:00.000-04:00

more wordless wednesday here and here.

:: 4/12 ::

2011-06-20T15:54:00.000-04:00

my sweet baby cash,

i admit, this post comes a week late. with all the birthdays, birthday parties, and father's day this past week, i haven't gotten a chance to do this post until now.

it's hard to believe i can't call you a newborn anymore. just a baby. but i'm so glad that sweet baby smell has not disappeared!

baby boy, i just want to eat you up and swallow you whole, you are so cute! i love your sweet smiles and giggles each time i look at you. or that little laugh that escapes from your mouth when your sister talks sweetly to you. sometimes i just want to smother you, i love you so much. i know. that sounds a little on the crazy side, but i think that's probably the best way to describe how i feel about you (and your other siblings, of course).

i want so badly for all the little moments we experience together to s.l.o.w. d.o.w.n. but most times they zoom right past me before it stays impressed in my mind. i'm looking forward to watching you change and grow, though. and i'm trying my best to treasure each baby-mommy moment we have together.

*sigh* you are such a sweet, sweet gift! i love you!

happy father's day!

2011-06-19T10:10:00.000-04:00

to the father of my children:

i love you dearly. thank you for the time you invest in our kids, and the steadfast love and patience you show them.

happy father's day to all the daddies. your presence, love and time with your children are invaluable and will always be remembered in their hearts.

stewardship :: they're not really mine

2011-06-18T14:28:00.001-04:00

last week's sermon was a great reminder for me as a parent (even though it was primarily addressed to daddies) that children are gifts from God. within our day to day living, it is easy to forget that God has entrusted our children under our care so that we can train them up to love Jesus and love others. ultimately, parents are stewards of God's children. though we call them our own, they belong to the Lord.

the post below is a re-post from 10.20.2009, but last sunday's sermon made me think of it and thought i'd share it again.

peace out!

*****

when i've talked about stewardship before, our material possessions have been the key focus. how can we be good stewards of the money God has entrusted us with? how can we be good stewards of our home, our food, our car, our clothes? how can we teach our kids to be good stewards of their things and keep them for developing a consumerist mentality?

but something that has not been overly emphasized in our home is the fact that God has also entrusted us with people. more specifically, a spouse, children, and even our own bodies.

in all honesty, i don't see my husband or my children as belonging to God. i see them as mine. my husband. my kids. but in reality, God has graciously provided me with a loving and caring husband. and it is God who has graciously blessed me with our children. they belong to Him, and He has entrusted them to me.

i think using that perspective has helped me view my family in a totally different light. my husband is special because he belongs to the Lord. my children are special because they too belong to the Lord. how can i be a good steward of my family? by treating them with respect, love, and extra-care because they belong to someone else, and someday i have to return them.

this perspective is also especially freeing to me when it comes to raising, training, and teaching our children. our children are our special treasures, entrusted to us by God. we as parents have a clear job to do, but there comes a point when we have to let them go. because they belong to the Lord. when i had my miscarriage, i remember in the midst of my grieving rejoicing in the fact that our sweet baby was where he (or she) was meant to be...back to where (s)he belonged. i know what i need to do as a parent, and part of being a parent is learning to let go of our children and handing them over to God (easier said than done!).

because really, they belong to Him, and He has entrusted them to me.

gone fishing: the early worm gets the fish?

2011-06-15T09:07:00.001-04:00

about a week ago i mentioned that we were going on a little family fishing adventure as part of national fishing and boating week. we chose a fishing spot close to our home, and the weather was perfect for a time spent outside.

take a look at this little clip to get a taste of what we experienced...

*many thanks to brunner and recreational fishing and boating foundation for providing this fun opportunity for our family!

the teen years: v. 1.4

2011-06-14T07:34:00.000-04:00

so the teen saga continues and has an upgrade as we wish our eldest a happy 14th b-day!!!

my little boy is no more as you are becoming your own man and you're working on finding out who you are. you are an amazing big brother and you serve faithfully at our church. while we may have our disagreements in the future, know that i'm very proud of you and you will aways be my buddy. i love you son and happy birthday. i hope your day is special and wonderful.

love,
dad

happy birthday baby girl...

2011-06-12T07:30:00.003-04:00

today our only daughter is turning 5 years old. gone are the days of babbling, toddling, and being messy.

you are growing up to be an amazing young lady and it is a joy and blessing to be your daddy. there are so many things that you do that i can't begin to list them all, but i know that you brighten any room you enter. you are such a special girl and i want you to know that 2 of my favorite things in this whole world is when you meet me at the door when i come home from work and our daddy/daughter dates. (side note: to all the daddies out there, this is something you better be doing with your daughters or you aren't doing your job). you help make this family what it is and what it is to be.

so happy birthday baby girl, i love you tremendously and your mom and i are so proud of you. enjoy your special day!

love,
dad

wordless wednesday::a special night

2011-06-08T10:17:00.000-04:00

first formal dance complete with fancy suit and pretty date!

more wordless wednesday here and here.

new digs

2011-06-05T16:16:00.000-04:00

last month we had the pleasure of stopping by the grand RE-opening party for salty not sweet, a handmade boutiqe and letterpress studio now located in ohio city.

sandwiched right between room service (another fantastic local shop) and voodoo monkey tattoo (the only place where we get our tattoos in cleveland), i think they are a great addition to the w. 25th area.

the new home looks amazing and was bustling with people.

if you're looking to support a local business then be sure to take some time and check.this.place.out!

new listing :: papa was a rollin' stone

2011-06-05T01:22:00.000-04:00

these newly listed cards on my etsy shop were fun to make. why? well, primarily because i was able to reuse something! hooray!

we have stacks of old rolling stones magazines in our room. i can't bear to just recycle them. it just seems like a waste of paper. do you know what i mean?

so, a few cuts with the paper cutter, a bit of folding here, a bit of folding there, and voila...

a card fit for the best dad in the whole wide world! come see more over at the shop.

gone fishing: the beginning

2011-06-02T15:56:00.000-04:00

the last and only time i caught a fish was in elementary school. that was a long time ago. so long ago in fact that i really don't remember all the details. just little snippets: sunshine, quiet, the smell of an old life vest, and capturing a lone fish (maybe we caught more, but i don't really remember).

after that, the only fish i ever caught was nice, juicy pieces of sashimi in my mouth.

photo credit

this weekend we have a plan. we have a plan to try out some fishing fun with the whole family. even the baby (though he will most likely be a spectator). and the time frame also happens to coincide with the start of national fishing and boating week. whaddaya know!

usually you have to get a fishing license in order to fish, but during national fishing and boating week most states will be offering free fishing days. unfortunately, ohio's was in may. but kids under 16 years old are able to fish for free. so i think our plan is to just have the kids fish. if this ends up being something fun we enjoy, then maybe we'll look into a fishing license for the adults. maybe.

i like to eat fish. this saturday i'll find out if i like to catch fish too.

wordless wednesday::safety first

2011-06-01T10:29:00.000-04:00

more wordless wednesday here and here.

8/4 recap

2011-05-22T22:27:00.001-04:00

just a few snapshots of gibson's 2nd birthday...

THANK YOU everyone for making him feel so special and loved on his birthday.

8/4

2011-05-20T15:01:00.000-04:00

my little agent gibs!

i can not believe you are 2 today. didn't you just have a birthday??

in a year's time you have learned to walk, run, jump and gallop. you've gone from saying (and signing) words to speaking sentences. you have definitely discovered your sweet tooth, and make sure that you don't miss out on your share when everyone else gets a little treat. when you fall, 95% of the time you get back up and return to what you were doing as if the tumble didn't phase you one bit. you have become a big brother, and you fill that role well by trying your best to make him smile and laugh.

oh my chunk monster how you've grown. you grow more independent every day, eager to do whatever your big sister does. but even though you may not need my hand to guide you through those treacherous cracks and bumps on the sidewalk, i will be close by ready to hold you in my arms when you need me.

i love your smile, your hugs, your snuggles and your happy face. i'm so glad your mommy (and i'm sure daddy would tell you that he's glad to be your daddy)! we are both so thankful that the Lord has given us the opportunity to raise, care and love you.

love and hugs on your birthday,

mom.

school days: time to read

2011-05-16T14:20:00.000-04:00

since she figured out how to write her name a long while back, it seems that my dear daughter has been fascinated with writing. then she figured out how to write "mom," "dad," and "ty," and was even more enthralled with filling empty pages with words.

she would ask how to spell words and write them out, make little "notes" for us on a daily basis with pictures and our names on it, copy words from a book (willingly on her own), on and on and on.

and just this past week, we reached a new milestone. reading.

at first, i was hesitant to admit that she could read. i mean, i wasn't mentally prepared for her to be ready to read. and quite honestly, i didn't expect the whole process to happen so naturally...as if it were part of our daily routine. it felt so unobtrusive. organic.

i remember ty struggling a lot in kindergarten and 1st grade with reading, and so i didn't know what to expect when the time came for emma to learn to read. i guess i thought there would be a specific day that i would officially start teaching her to read....a designated date and time where we would sit down and practice sounding out letters, reading simple words, etc.

but over the past couple of months, i noticed that she was naturally starting to understand the connection between the letter and its sound. i think her little writing kick was actually helping her figure this out. so, last week while we were at the library i figured we'd give one of these books a go. if she was receptive to the idea trying to read on her own we would go with it, if not then no big deal.

well, we went through it together the first time, with a bit of help from me. but by the 3rd time around she had read the whole book on her own. they're not very long, and given her steel trap memory the story and words were easy to memorize. at that point, i wasn't quite sure if she was actually reading the words or just memorizing the content and using the pictures to remind her of what each page said. so when we returned this week, i suggested we check out a couple more of those little books. she was very excited about the whole idea and brought home 2 new ones to read.

this time though, i tried to have her sound out the words on the page. i was a little apprehensive about doing this, because if she wasn't ready then the experience would be frustrating and it would only discourage her from wanting to read (flashback to ty when he was learning to read). but i figure no harm done in trying as long as we stop if she gets frustrated or distracted.

let me say, that i am a proud mama for her efforts. we went through both books the 1st time in one sitting, and she was able to successfully sound out most of the words on her own. by the time daddy got home, she didn't need my help and had 2 sight words under her belt: "the" and "was."

the girl likes to "read" already (during her quiet time she would have a mountain of books piled on her bed ready for perusal), and i'm pretty certain that once she can really read on her own she'll be sleeping with her books!

warms.my.heart.

2011-05-13T14:55:00.000-04:00

...and they're growing up right before my very eyes...*sniff*

wordless wednesday::spring awakening

2011-05-11T08:00:00.001-04:00

hibernation season is done...

more wordless wednesday here and here.

yo mama!

2011-05-10T11:25:00.001-04:00

i hope all you mamas had a wonderful mother's day!

we started the day with baby dedications at church. we had 8 babies dedicated yesterday, which i think is quite an impressive number for a church that averages 60 people a week. it's such a blessing to see all those babies...it make me smile to see God at work!

of course, we dedicated our sweet baby cash (thank you aunt corrie for manning the cameras!), promising to "train [him] up in the way he should go..." what a privilege it is to care for our children.

we ended the day with a pleasant family gathering at our house, and gram sharing ~~incriminating~~ stories of her kids. it was a gorgeous day so the kiddos and their cousins spent most of the time playing outside.

this mama is so thankful for all the precious (and not-so-precious-but-will-laugh-about-later) little moments.

abandoning an old stand-by

2011-05-07T15:42:00.001-04:00

chocolate chip cookies.

some people like them crunchy. some like them chewy. some might even like them a little on the cakey side. but whatever way it is, you usually can't go wrong with a sweet treat like the chocolate chip cookie.

in our house, homemade chocolate chip cookies don't last very long. and we like ours chewy.

my old stand-by has always been the nestle toll house recipe (i even have it memorized), and i've always thought it was pretty good. but then, one day, a friend brought over some of her homemade chocolate chip cookies and they were aMAZing. they were far better than any batch i've ever made. they were chewy and dense and had the right amount of chocolate chips. they tasted like they were from one of those gourmet bakeries. yummmy!

anyway, after tasting those cookies, i was determined to re-create it. at first i tried changing the toll house recipe a bit, by using more brown sugar and less white sugar and melting the butter (apparently these "tricks" are supposed to help give you a more chewy cookie). but the result was not quite right.

then i came across this fantastic recipe online from cook's illustrated. if you like dense, chewy, gourmet-style chocolate chip cookies then this is the recipe for you.

one bite and you will be in love with them forever. i don't think i'll ever go back to my old stand-by recipe. and now dear readers, i think one of those cookies is desperately beckoning me to come over and eat it.

spittin' image

2011-05-06T16:29:00.000-04:00

don't these two look so much alike? can you guess which one is gibson's baby photo and which one is baby cash?

new listing :: more baby clothes

2011-04-28T15:34:00.000-04:00

i just listed these 3 baby/toddler clothes over at my little shop.

the designs might be familiar to you, but this time i thought i would applique them on colored onesies instead of white ones. although i think the white onesies gives a clean and uncomplicated quality to the design (which i like), there's a boldness that i like when using the colored ones.

stop by and take a look!

wordless wednesday::little mama

2011-04-27T08:00:00.000-04:00

our daughter loves mothering her baby brother...

more wordless wednesday here and here.

victory

2011-04-24T08:00:00.008-04:00

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

(listen to the whole song here)

happy easter! here's to the best and brightest day of the year!

true love

2011-04-22T15:49:00.000-04:00

how deep the Father's love for us

how vast beyond all measure

that He would give His only Son

to make a wretch His treasure.

how great the pain of searing loss

the Father turns his head away

as wounds which mar the chosen one

bring may sons to glory

behold the Man upon the cross

my guilt upon His shoulders

ashamed I hear my mocking voice

call out among the scoffers

it was my sin that held Him there

until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

i know that it is finished

i will not boast in anything

no gifts, no power, no wisdom

but i will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

why should i gain from His reward?

i cannot give an answer

but this i know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

as i reflect on today, i'm humbled that such an awesome God would make such a sacrifice...for someone like me. i'm not perfect. i mess up all the time. i'm prideful. often times i take God's grace, mercy and love for granted. but God still loves me despite all that.

God's abundant love is so much more than i will ever be able to comprehend. his overflowing mercy is beyond what my mind can grasp.

when i think about how much God loves us, i am blown away. it is a love so amazing that it sometimes brings me to tears.

a sacrificial love. a love that's never ending.

never. ending.

wordless wednesday::special treatment

2011-04-20T10:24:00.000-04:00

only grandkids can get away with this...a tattoo for ibu!

more wordless wednesday here and here.

:: 2/12 ::

2011-04-14T14:48:00.001-04:00

my son, you are too precious for words!

it seems like you're changing faster than i can take pictures. we've seen a few smiles from you and heard a few coos. and your little legs are chunking up perfectly. i'll be curious to see how much you weigh tomorrow for your check up.

we love you, peanut! happy 2 months, my sweet boy.

staples from my homeland

2011-04-08T16:25:00.001-04:00

for a while, park to shop on 30th and payne was the only asian grocery store i knew about where i could purchase items to meet my occasional indonesian food cravings. it had indomie noodles, bakso, inexpensive lemongrass, nori furikake seasoning, even frozen pandan leaves (which i have yet to use but purchased anyway).

but it didn't have everything. it had my kecap manis (sweet soy sauce) but not in the brand i prefer (cap bango has a much better flavor than the abc brand...even my husband will agree and he's not indonesian). they didn't have my chocolates sprinkles (this is actually a dutch thing that had made its way into the indonesian food culture), though thanks to my mommy she brought some back after her last visit to jakarta. and they didn't have palm sugar, which is used ~~as a little sweet treat for me~~ in some indonesian dishes.

last september i mentioned something about discovering a new asian grocery store around the same neighborhood as park to shop. we didn't get a chance to really look around at that time and finally made a trip back last week to really check things out.

i am so glad we did because asia food company has an indonesian aisle! okay, it's only half an aisle. actually, it's probably only a quarter of an aisle since it's really only half of one side of a whole aisle. but it's exciting to me nonetheless.

and the best part is that they sell the items which we weren't able to get before, and more!

they even have jasmine tea, which is so delicious and makes me feel like i'm back in jakarta.

i was also impressed with their little bakery/eatery section. i think all the items are made there and reading the menu made my mouth water (side note: you have to pay separately, and in cash, for all items sold in this section). we didn't order a full meal there, but did pick up some cakwe to use for our bubur ayam dinner.

though i'm sure i'll continue to shop at park to shop, asia food company will certainly be another place to get my asian food fixes!

mommy makes everything better

2011-04-05T15:03:00.000-04:00

sunday, we said good-bye to my mom (a.k.a. "green lady" or "ibu" to the kids) as she headed back to the west coast after a most wonderful 2 week visit with us.

the kids loved having the extra attention (and sweets) from ibu and to have someone new to play and read with.

i was much appreciative of the extra hands available to hold baby cash when he's fussy (or so i can eat with two hands), cook some tasty indonesian food, and to wrangle the kids when they needed wrangling.

whether it was hanging out at home or cruisin' the hood, every day spent with ibu was thoroughly enjoyed!

bye mommy! see you again real soon. (by the way, the kajang hijau is ALL gone!)

food trucks unite!

2011-03-28T15:37:00.000-04:00

food trucks. they're pretty awesome. and in cleveland, food trucks have gotten quite popular.

there are a number of them here in the cleveland area, and this past weekend the food truck operators of cleveland came together to offer up some tasty eats for the people of cleveland.

we headed down after church, excited and ready to sample food from some of cleveland's finest food trucks. but what we weren't ready for was the line of people at pretty much every single truck there. holy moly! there was A LOT of people. and the wait would have been l.o.n.g.

it was AWESOME to see so many come out to support this super cool event (yay, cleveland!). but it was bitter cold (though the sunshine was deceiving) and waiting for an hour for our food in 30 degree weather with 3 little ones just didn't sound appealing.

i think the chow down turned out great, even though we weren't able to stick around. more details about the event can be found here, from someone who actually toughed it out.

though chowing down on food truck grub would have been fantastic, a warm meal at my friends was just as satisfying. especially since i didn't have to worry about the kids turning into icicles!

maybe we'll hunt down some of the food trucks in the summer when it's warm...

new in town

2011-03-19T09:00:00.002-04:00

crafty goodness opened its doors for the first time saturday, march 5, 2011. it was wet, cold and rainy that day, but that didn't stop us from heading down to check things out.

this super cool shop is another wonderful place where you can support the local economy. they feature more than 60 local artists with a very eclectic mix of handmade goodness from bath and body products to items for your home. there is something for everyone there (even clothes and toys for your babies made by...*ahem*... me).

in addition to their retail shop, they will also be offering art/craft classes to the public. be sure to go here and take a look at their class schedule. and be sure to stop by in person!

33 days later

2011-03-17T14:50:00.000-04:00

dearest little peanut,

last saturday you turned 1 month. 1 month...already?? it seemed like just days ago when i held you in my arms for the very first time. i want time to slow down so i can savor each and every moment with you (well...except for the times when you've peed on me or when i have to change your poopy diapers). i don't even mind the "sleepless" nights, because i can be close to you.

before long, that sweet, delicious baby smell will be gone. before long you'll be giggling and laughing along with the rest of us. before long you'll be taking your first steps. and before long you won't need me to hold your hand anymore.

i look forward to the exciting milestones you have ahead of you, but at the same time i don't want to let you go. part of me wants to hold on to you with all my might and keep you from growing up. but another part of me can't wait to see what God has in store for you.

mommy and daddy love you so much little peanut. happy 1 month!

wordless wednesday::a change-up

2011-03-09T07:00:00.001-05:00

an indoor picnic somehow makes lunch time so much more fun!

more wordless wednesday here and here.

school days: winter, winter!

2011-03-08T16:23:00.001-05:00

we just wrapped up our february's unit study last week (yes, i know last week was the start of march). given the whole new baby thing, we didn't do too bad at getting through most of the stuff i planned out.

per emma's request, we did a unit study on winter. this is a HUGE topic, and unlike our last unit study there wasn't really pre-made unit study on winter that i could use as a primary source for teaching ideas. so i put some things together myself.

our winter themed books (for emma and gibson):

katy and the big snow by virginia burton
stranger in the woods by carl sams and jean stoick
the big snow by berta and elmer hader
the mitten adapted by jan brett
time to sleep by denise fleming
snow white a tale from the brothers grimm
look-a snowflake by janet craig
if you were a penguin by florence and wendell minor
snow bear by miriam moss
snow by uri shulevitz
baby penguins by quinlan b. lee
hibernation station by michelle meadows

we did a winter lapbook which emma titled "winter is fun." (personally, i would disagree with the "fun"part and replace it with "cold" or "freezing" or "mostly miserable for someone who is originally from the tropics"...*ahem*)

lapbook contents:

a winter-themed memory game which was fun to play together or alone
winter clothes layer book, which emma did all by herself (since baby cash decided he was very hungry the minute we started)
winter is here minibook
our memory verse for the month (colossians 3:23)
a maze which i laminated so she could do it multiple times
animal layer book (based on the animals from the mitten)
weather observation sheet, which was a side activity that she wanted to include in her lapbook.
the water cycle - the cards were laminated and i used velcro so she could do the activity more than once.

i had wanted to do a little more with the water cycle (had this little "experiment" involving a cotton ball and water planned out), but didn't quite get to it since baby cash made an early appearance.

on the back side of the lapbook held animal cards in a little bag, which we made based on the animals in the mitten, which we used to practice sequencing. gibson liked the cards too and was able to identify each one by the end of our unit. another little bag held our water cycle cards.

other lessons/activities we did for this unit:

we used emma's wooden dress up dolls to kick off our winter unit by finding cold weather clothes to put them in. gibson wanted to join in the fun and did his own version of dressing them up (which involved his little red car). this was a good opportunity to talk about the different seasons and how we would usually dress depending on the weather outside (e.g. *most* people don't go out wearing shorts in the middle of winter).

we viewed a few video clips from national geographic of some of the animals that were mentioned in our list of library books (penguins, polar bears, geese) and also some other arctic/cold weather animals (seals, mountain goat, narwhal). i found the short clips helpful in starting some brief discussions about these animals along with reinforcing the hibernation/migration lesson.

i brought snow inside to play with and that was a huge hit!

i made a little nature booklet for emma and we went on a little family walk to look for some of the things listed in the booklet (squirrel, flying birds, tree branch, pine cones, etc.).

we made paper garlands using old newspapers in the shape of hearts and mittens. we used a heart stencil to make a little red heart in the middle of each paper shape. this was also a great opportunity to talk about patterns, and i had emma arrange the hearts/mittens in a pattern of her choice. then we hung them up across our window just in time for valentine's day (sorry, there's no photo of the finished product, but they did turn out cute)!

*****

resources i used for creating the lapbook and the winter unit:

homeschool share's katy and the big snow resources.

homeschool share's the big snow.

winter memory cards from dltk.

mitten/hearts paper garlands idea was inspired by this site.

wordless wednesday::bzzzz, snip, snip

2011-03-02T15:03:00.000-05:00

and in an instant my baby is now a big boy...

more wordless wednesday here and here.

just can't get enough

2011-03-01T15:45:00.000-05:00

our little peanut, 1 day shy of being 2 weeks old.

i am in love!

wordless wednesday::peek-a-boo!

2011-02-16T08:00:00.001-05:00

more wordless wednesday here and here.

labor of love

2011-02-14T16:18:00.000-05:00

making a surprise appearance, we welcomed our newest addition 1 month early, jameson cash, saturday february 12 at 10:29 a.m.

8 lbs. and 21 inches of love, love, love

we were able to go home sunday afternoon since everything with him checked out fine. blogging will be a little spotty as we take this time to enjoy our sweet boy and transition into a family of six.

2 days old

oh baby :: reflecting on the not so ordinary

2011-02-11T09:03:00.000-05:00

way back when my belly wasn't so humongous, i posted about my own personal reasons to choose a natural childbirth. i'm very thankful that i have been able to do that with my last two, and Lord-willing i hope to have an intervention-free birthing experience with this third one.

like i've mentioned before, a lot of research and reading on natural and medicated childbirth really steered me towards giving birth naturally. and there is a lot out of information (and controversy) out there regarding both, but i firmly believe that a natural approach to labor and childbirth is the safest and healthiest for both mama and baby. in the u.s., having a natural birth is not the norm. i don't doubt that there are many pregnant women that perhaps choose to try the natural approach. but sometimes it's difficult to stand your ground (in the midst of laboring) when possible pressure from hospital staff, your caregiver, etc. can lead them down the road they had not planned on taking (of course the exception would be during a true medical complication).

if i could have a homebirth with this baby, i would do it in a heartbeat. i know, homebirth?? it may seem extreme, but to me it would be wonderful. i'm considered a low-risk pregnancy and there's a hospital less than 5 minutes away from our house. to me, a homebirth would make sense, especially since we already have other kids. we wouldn't have to worry about finding someone to watch them while we were at the hospital or bothered by hospital protocol about this and that or pack up our stuff to go home. but we don't have the extra money for it since it's not covered by our insurance (believe it or not it's actually more cost-effective for us to use our insurance). and i really, really, really like my midwife, and at this point she doesn't do home deliveries.

fortunately, the hospital where i'll be delivering has recently built a birthing center. though it's associated and connected (literally) to the hospital (unlike a free-standing birth center), according to what i've read in the consent form the birth center philosophy is maintained. if i can't have a homebirth, then this comes in at a close second...and i can't tell you how excited i am to have the opportunity to try this place out.

photo source.

along the lines of maintaining a natural approach to labor and birth, i'm hoping to try a waterbirth...again. research on the benefits of waterbirth are minimal in the u.s. though if i'm not mistaken there is plenty of positive evidence for hydrotherapy in europe.

is waterbirth risky? i don't know how to answer that. having a baby is risky. what if you have complications during pregnancy, labor, childbirth, postpartum? what if the baby experiences complications? having a baby has its risks, but obviously that hasn't stopped women from having babies.

i know my husband has questions about the waterbirth approach. certainly for good reason. he is fully supportive of hydrotherapy for the laboring mother and understands its benefits in offering a noninvasive option for pain relief. but his biggest concern is how it benefits the baby. many of the literature found on waterbirth suggests it provides a more peaceful and less stressful transition for the baby, and for me that makes sense. but i don't think you can rule out the possibility that if the baby is stuck during the pushing stage that a waterbirth may make things more difficult.

anyway, i don't really know where i was going with that or with this post in general. i know the birth choices i'm making are unconventional according to the u.s. "standards." but i do feel it's important for me to share a different approach, and that it is possible for women (and their babies) to experience a noninvasive, unmedicated birth. if you read my birth plan, i might as well just deliver at home with the amount of things i'm forgoing: no hep-loc, no medication during labor or post partum, no fetal monitoring unless it's the old school way, baby checked while on me...

i have no idea what God has in store for me this time around. i mean, i can guess and prepare myself according on my past experiences, but that's no guarantee that the outcome will be the same. i had 2 very different laboring experiences with my first two kids, so it's hard to tell how this one will go. we have a game plan in place and now all we can do is wait and put everything in God's hands. i don't doubt that whatever happens will be according to His will.

*****

information on homebirth, waterbirth, and natural childbirth (this list is mainly for me...so i have a place that i can easily refer to):

the homebirth choice from midwifery today.

homebirth from the american pregnancy association.

homebirth benefits article.

is homebirth for you?

waterbirth FAQ and research information from waterbirth international.

waterbirth information from gentlebirth.org

why have a water birth?

giving birth naturally website.

birthing naturally website.

birthing naturally-is it for me?

benefits of natural chidlbirth.

childbirth connection website.

a study on the effects of epidural anesthesia.

articles by henci goer on childbirth.

citizens for midwifery.

birthnetwork national.

mother-friendly childbirth initiative.

school days: houses and homes

2011-02-04T07:00:00.002-05:00

we started a new unit study the 2nd week of january revolving around houses and homes using this site, and finished it up a few days ago. i'm taking the rest of this week to review the unit and plan for our next study.

we didn't cover all the lessons listed for the unit, which is okay since we also do other learning activities that don't necessarily relate to the unit study.

here are the books we read for this unit (i only managed to find 3 out of the 4 core books at the library:

we were tired of living in a house by liesel skorpen
a house is a house for me by mary ann hoberman
let's go home by cynthia rylant (this was gibson's favorite, despite the fact that it was quite a lengthy read)
a house for hermit crab by eric carle
three little pigs by james marshall
in a people house by dr. seuss/theo lesieg
if i ran the rainforest by bonnie worth
henry and mudge and the tall tree house by cynthia rylant

i love, love, love the reading aspect because it provides so many opportunities for open discussion. some of the things we talked about after reading the books included our favorite part of our house and why, comparing and contrasting the images we see of homes in the books with our own home, different types of animal homes (and people homes), home maintenance and decor, and the different cities/states/countries that some of our family live in.

our lapbook for this unit was primarily based on a house for hermit crab:

i included some of the lapbook components listed here and also added some of my own.

i laminated the months of the year cards so that emma can trace the words to practice her writing.

i also laminated and added velcro for hermit crab's year so that emma could do the activity more than once. it was helpful to read the story first and then do the activity so that the story sequence is fresh in her mind. on a side note, another book to read to introduce kids to the months of the year is chicken soup with rice by maurice sendak. it's a fun book and brings back some childhood memories for me!

other lessons/activities we did relating to the unit:

we discussed how we all have our part in helping around the home to keep it tidy, clean and well maintained.

we made a home out of blankets and chairs a few times. the kids loved "decorating" the inside and filling it with books, toys and snacks. they even got to have their lunch in there one time.

i found a simple picture of a house and glued it onto a large sheet. then i had emma complete the picture (watercolors was her preferred medium).

one thing i had wanted to do but didn't get around to was to procure a large world map and mark where family members live around the world. our family is so spread out that doing something like this might help give them some perspective on how far or close family members are to us. i'll have to save this one for another time.

and here's what gibson did while big sister completed some of the lessons that were not yet suited for his age:

sticking stickers on paper and himself (and sometimes the floor and the furniture)...this is a popular one with him.

coloring. in this photo he wanted to use markers like his big sister so i gave him some laminated number cards and a dry erase marker and let him go to town (clean up was very easy!).

putting coins (pretend and real ones) in an empty canister and emptying it back out.

digging out the library bin and "reading" his books.

playing with this foamy thingy i got at pat catan's.

"sorting" shells in the muffin tin...which sometimes turned into throwing shells all over the floor.

and now on to our next study. emma has specifically requested a unit study on winter so that is what we'll do next!

oh baby :: giant belly update

2011-02-03T06:57:00.002-05:00

yesterday, i had my last monthly check up.

at 35 weeks i was measuring 1 week ahead of schedule (a.k.a. my big ball of a belly is measuring at 36 weeks instead of 35). i guess i can throw out my hope of delivering a 7 lb. baby at this point. ha! but, seriously...another possible chance of an 8 pounder?

i gained about 4 lbs. this past month, which has put me at 28 lbs. total weight gain through out this pregnancy so far. but i feel like i gained double that every time i look at my belly.

i had my GBS testing done, but decided that if the results came back positive that i would forgo treating it with antibiotics. after doing further research on the subject, i feel like there's a very, very, very low risk in me passing it to the baby upon delivery. plus, gibson was not affected by it when i delivered him since i didn't receive the full dose during my labor with him. my midwife was fully supportive and was already aware of all the alternative treatments we can try (*sigh* i love her).

we are signed up to deliver at the new birth center based out of the hospital. when i delivered gibson, the center was still under construction. i'm hoping that we'll be able to try it out for this baby, as long as there isn't anyone using it already. they have a nice giant tub in there, and i'm hoping this time around i'll actually get to go in it and deliver the baby.

i did have colleen check me to see if i've started dilating. the past couple of weeks i've had this feeling that my cervix was changing. nothing big, but the "practice" contractions felt different. as if the braxton hicks were not really braxton hicks but they were all at the same time. i know, that doesn't make any sense, but i don't know how to articulate it any better than that. i could feel something was changing...it was weird. it turns out i'm dilated at 1 cm (almost 2) and 25-30% effaced. baby is head down (yes!) but not engaged yet. which is good (since i'm not due until march), but it sure feels like he/she's about ready to come out already.

at home, we are so not prepared yet. i haven't taken out any of the newborn stuff, the baby cradle or purchased any newborn diapers. we still need to look over our birth plan and start putting a plan in place for people to contact when i do start labor. on the plus side, gibson is moved into his new bedroom (right next to emma's room), and his old room has returned to our guest bedroom again. we don't have a nursery for this baby since our plan is to have baby in our bedroom for at least the first 6 months. after that, we'll decide if emma and gibson will end up sharing a room (emma's preference) or if the guest bedroom will end up being the baby's room (though we really like having a spare bedroom for company). i'm not too worried about the whole sleeping arrangement issue. it's hard to tell how gibson will respond to the new addition so i think it's probably best to play it by ear.

the baby's arrival seems so close, yet so far away at the same time. some days i think i still have plenty of time, but other days i feel overwhelmed and behind after thinking about all the things i need to get done before the baby comes. i think all i can do right now is to just take it day by day. the baby is not going to have a fit if i don't get everything on my list done!

tax break

2011-01-27T07:20:00.000-05:00

it's that time of year again.

photo credit

w-2s are distributed. that means tax season is approaching. i start busting out all my relevant paper trail from the past year and catch up on some filing.

we like to file our taxes early. it seems like the earlier you get it done the faster you receive your return (unless you have to pay of course...then maybe you might not want to file so early). last year we received ours before valentine's day.

we i do our own taxes. the first year we moved here we used h & r block (did i post about this before?) but it was a WASTE of money. we thought it was going to decrease our chances of making a mistake since we had to deal with the whole moving from a different state issue. but realistically, it wasn't that complicated. if we had taken the time to do our research, we could have saved the $250 or so we paid them and did the whole thing ourselves (i even ended up catching an error after our federal and state returns were filed so they had to do an amendment). they're pretty much doing what you could do at home. don't go there. really.

anyway, i could go on. but i won't. because i'm taking a break. so i can start working on our taxes. there may be a few posts sprinkled here or there, but until our federal and state returns are filed (and prepping for baby's arrival in about 1 month!!) it might be a little quiet around here.

or it might not.

blogging is a great way to procrastinate :).

oh baby :: welcoming gibson

2011-01-25T08:06:00.000-05:00

oh my sweet gibson.

our 2nd born.

pregnancy and childbirth with this little boy was so different from emma's. a few people (including my midwife, colleen) assumed that since labor and delivery with emma was so fast that this one would come just as fast. we had planned on a waterbirth, but working under the assumption of a quick labor i didn't get my hopes up that much of enjoying such an experience.

gibson was due may 27, 2009. late in my pregnancy, i was diagnosed with GBS and so an induction was scheduled for wednesday may 20th in order to allow enough time for the antibiotics to be administered properly. at the same time, colleen and i both knew that it was also possible that i would start labor early and an induction wouldn't be necessary. in hindsight (as you will see later on in this post), i think we should have done more research on alternative treatment options or even choosing not to treat the GBS at all.

i had experienced this obvious sign of labor about to start the weekend before 20th, but since i didn't experience much change after that i had no clue when things would start picking up.

i remember planning out a few errands and such on the 19th so that the home will be well prepared before i headed in for the induction on the 20th. i remember waking up that morning feeling normal, except that at around 7:00 a.m. those braxton hicks didn't feel like braxton hicks. they weren't at all like the ones i woke up to when i went into labor with emma, but they didn't feel like the braxton hicks that i had been experiencing for the past month.

my instincts told me to start taking a mental note of these possible contractions. they were fairly spread out through out the morning, but they were definitely noticeable. i was determined to get my errands in case i ended up progressing so off we went to the craft store (i know, the craft store? what was i thinking?) and the grocery store. by late-morning, i remember having to stop in the middle of the grocery store aisle every time i had a contraction. even though they weren't quite at regular intervals they were definitely getting stronger.

at about 1:00 p.m., once emma was down for her afternoon nap, i remember feeling a sign of urgency at getting the baby stuff prepped and ready, even if it meant having to stop in my tracks for every contraction. by that time, i knew that this baby was coming out soon. i felt excited. i also recalled feeling relieved that i wouldn't have to deal with the induction (i feel even more relieved now after reading up on the craziness that is pitocin).

i don't think i even called or texted aaron to let him know that i was experiencing contractions, even though at this point there was no way i could keep moving through them. the rest of the day was a bit of a blur.

4:00 p.m. i started writing down and timing my contractions (i only know this with certainty because i found my notes) since the darned things would not go away and they were coming more often. i don't really know how i made dinner, but i know the kids were fed. i do remember stopping to breathe through each contraction through out the early evening, but focusing on completing the evening routine (dinner, bedtime for kids, etc.) helped me through them.

8:30 p.m. it was quite obvious that this was the real deal with average contractions about 6-7 minutes apart. we knew that the time to head to the hospital would be soon so we called aaron's parents to make sure that an adult would be home when we left.

however, we didn't call the hospital just yet. i'm not sure why. maybe it was because these contractions didn't feel like the ones i had with emma. with gibson, i felt as if i "eased" into labor since they gradually increased in intensity. with emma it was more of a jolt. i guess i kept waiting for that jolt and it really never came.

10:00 p.m. i remembered trying to settle on the couch to watch the pre-recorded season finale of 24 and insisting that we sit and watch the whole thing even though aaron did offer to forgo it. i think my logic there was that once the baby was born, there wasn't really going to be time to watch it. at this point, the contractions were at the stage where it required more focus and energy so that i could get through it. but for some reason, they didn't increase in frequency at all. they were still at about 6-10 minutes apart even though they were definitely more intense.

11:00 p.m. we finished watching 24, and if you had asked me what it was about i wouldn't be able tot ell you. i finally decided to call colleen to see if i should come in. since i had to get treatment for my GBS and the contractions were not going away (or getting any easier) after 15 hours, it was determined that i should check-in.

the car ride this time around was not as chaotic as the last time i labored in the car. plus, it helped that we were delivering at a hospital that was only 15 minutes away as opposed to 30 minutes. aaron didn't even have to speed...much. the contractions were still there but they were nothing compared to when we drove to the hospital to have emma. i even managed to text my little sister and update my facebook status. ha! they were definitely welcomed distractions.

12:00 a.m. we checked into the hospital and made our way to the labor and deliver floor. it was quiet up there. we were assigned a room and the nurse went through the usual questions. i was hooked up to the EFM for the standard initial monitoring. aaron managed to doze off on the couch after a text update to my sister and a brief facebook status update.

i got the yucky IV in my arm so i could start the antibiotics. those things are horrible! i don't mind tattoo needles but getting an IV stuck in your arm is NOT a pleasant experience. blech!

at this point, i really was unsure what to do. my contractions were still pretty intense but i felt as if i couldn't move since i had that dumb IV stuck in my arm. i knew i had to get through 2 rounds of antibiotics (which required 4 hours in between the first and the second dose) and i started wondering how i was going to get through the rest of my labor naturally if i felt i had to stay stationary as the antibiotics were running its course the plastic tube and into my system. i remember colleen had mentioned that a waterbirth was still possible even with the IV, but she wasn't there yet...and did i mention how i dislike IV needles??

approximately 1:00 a.m. the nurse suggested that i keep the EFM on and try to get some rest, and for some reason i agreed to it thinking that i would be able to get some sleep. it wasn't 10 minutes after she walked out that door that i realized i had made a mistake. i didn't want this EFM on me. i didn't want to be stuck in bed, immobilized by the EFM, as i tried to work through the labor pains. but i didn't call her back right away. i don't know why...i think i felt bad. like i was going to inconvenience her or something.

like last time, this is the part where things get a little hazy. i think about an hour later, after being unable to actually sleep and contractions getting more painful, i decided i had about enough of being in bed. i called the nurse back in to have her remove the EFM. i also had her check me to see how far along i was and to her surprise i was at about 10 cm. guess it was show time!

fortunately, colleen only lived 10 minutes away from the hospital and she was called in. the first dose of antibiotics were done and i was thankfully unhooked from the IV.

i remember waking aaron up from his little nap and telling him that it was time. they brought the birth ball (oh birth ball, how i love you!) and then colleen showed up pretty soon after. they had tried bringing the birthing tub into the room. it barely fit through the door. then i found out it was going to take 15 minutes just to fill it up. since i was already at 10 cm and baby was quickly making its descent i decided that there might not be enough time to experience the full benefits of the waterbirth. i didn't even know how long it would take for them to try to get the tub in the room.

the contractions felt much different. i knew that the 1st stage of labor was coming to a close (or pretty much done). there wasn't much sound coming out from me, but each contraction required everything in me. i remember thinking and repeating in my head, "Lord just help me through this." over and over again. it didn't seem like i was given much of a break between contractions. i remember colleen gave many encouraging words as i worked through the contractions and i remember taking comfort in having my husband there.

then it was time to push. man, this kid was hard to get out! that's all i could think of. definitely was not as easy as emma was. my legs were all shaky and i didn't think i could keep exerting all that energy. i think it was the 3rd push that finally got him out...but it seemed like forever!

about 4:00 a.m. he came out with the cord wrapped around his neck (like his big sister). but unlike his big sister, he was a hefty 8 lbs. 6 oz. and 21 inches long. no wonder he was hard to push out.

it was a joyous moment for us as we finally got to meet him. a boy. a sweet, little baby boy.

*****

there was such a big difference in labor experiences between emma's and gibson's, especially since i thought it wouldn't be so. we all assumed that my labor with gibson would be swift, just like the last time. i guess not all childbirth experiences are created equal, even from the same person.

i never did have time to get that 2nd dose of antibiotics for my GBS. but it actually didn't matter at all. i think if i test positive again for this pregnancy, i will most likely pass on the antibiotics. having the IV felt very constricting and i can see how a woman would feel more confined to her bed with it attached. certainly, you do have the "freedom" to move, but in my opinion the thought of wheeling that IV drip around while trying to focus on laboring at the same time would have been very distracting for me.

the overall hospital experience was quite pleasant. i never felt pressured to do something i didn't want to, however it was obvious to me that there were a couple of nurses that were quite used to a particular routine. that's not a bad thing, except that i got whisked into that routine without given the option to try anything different. nothing big really...just small stuff. but definitely noted for this next pregnancy.

God's timing was perfect once again. i don't think it was a coincidence that i managed to deliver him naturally on his induction date without the induction. the slower labor progression allowed me to have some time with my daughter. to kiss her good night and love on her before we left. he was with me through the hardest part and protected our son form any GBS risk as he was delivered.

with all the worldly distractions (even on the topic of childbirth), sometimes i easily forget that God abundantly provides for his people according to his time and his will. it is overwhelming and so humbling to think that once again he has so graciously met my needs and answered the secret requests of my heart.

do something : weekend jan. 21 - 22

2011-01-21T08:07:00.001-05:00

winter here in cleveland really makes me just want to hibernate. if i didn't have kids to force me to get out of the house then i probably would be at home until spring (i really don't like this below 30 degree weather!).

but just because it's cold outside doesn't mean there isn't anything to do in town. here are a few things going on around town this weekend:

1.21.2011

cleveland metroparks is having a movie night at their north chagrin nature center starting at 7:15 p.m. they will be showing ice world, a movie addressing the impacts of global warming on the polar region and it's inhabitants.

speaking of cleveland metroparks, if you prefer to actually go outside then be sure to head over to the chalet for some exciting tobogganing. aaron and ty did this last year and they had a great time. tobogganing will be open all the way through the first weekend in march. for $8 (or $6 children 11 and under) you can ride as many times as you want. of course you have to climb all those stairs to the top of the chute too...

78th street studios will be having their monthly 3rd friday event from 5-9 p.m. be sure to stop by if you've never been!

survival kit gallery (which opened in december 2010) will be having their first ever 4th coast pop up market friday 5-11 p.m. and saturday 12-6 p.m. the gallery is actually located in the 78th street studios and the pop up market will be open friday in conjunction with 78th street studios' 3rd friday event. and to top it off, umami moto will be offering up some of their delightful asian cuisine in case you get hungry.

get your polka fix with dj kishka at the happy dog from 6-9 p.m. feel free to dance and show others your sweet moves. then replenish the energy you burned dancing with a deeelicious dog. hey now!

1.22.2011

the beck center will be having their monthly super saturday event for kiddos 10 and under. this free event runs from 9-11:30 a.m. this month, make a 2011 calendar with the cleveland artists foundation.

while we're in lakewood, the lakewood library will be having a movie night featuring alfred hitchcock's spellbound. movie begins at 6 p.m. in their main auditorium. i used to love watching alfred hitchcock films. that and the old twilight zone films.

stay warm and happy weekend!

wordless wednesday::floor art

2011-01-19T07:23:00.000-05:00

when the weather outside is too frightful for chalk art on the sidewalk, we improvise inside with crayons, stickers, stencils...

this has been a fun activity with the kids, especially in the evening as they wind down for bed.

more wordless wednesday here and here.

top ten tuesday

2011-01-18T08:24:00.000-05:00

while we're on this whole baby/birthing topic, why not incorporate a top ten tuesday with the same theme?

[*warning* now that i only have about 1.5 months until the baby is due, you may notice a higher frequency of baby-related posts...i think...if i can manage to get them typed up and out of my head.]

when i was first pregnant, i did a lot of research. a lot. particularly in the childbirth and labor department. i didn't know what to expect in this area because i had no previous experience to draw upon. even with the second and now third pregnancy i refer back to the resources i have discovered from my first pregnancy and read up on some new ones. it helps prepare and focus my mind for that big day. the day when we finally get to meet our sweet baby.

my top ten childbirth-related resources (in no particular order):

1. birth stories. one of the best tips i could have ever received from my pregnancy was when a friend told me to read birth stories. lots of them. if you want to get an idea of what real childbirth is like then start reading those birth stories (operative word here is "reading" not watching them like the ones on TLC). i found many helpful ones here and here. another fantastic resource is asking friends and family members who have experienced childbirth. when i was pregnant with emma, i read so many birth stories and asked as many friends and family i could about their own birth experiences. what i learned was that every birth is different. certainly there may be common trends with first, second, third, fourth (etc.) pregnancies, but each one is unique. i think the more birth stories i read, the more i was able to mentally prepare for all possible outcomes.

2. childbirth.org. i don't even remember how i found this site, but i know that i always return here during each of my pregnancies. i have found some great information on childbirth related topics such as pain relief options, natural birth options, complications, interventions. just enough to make you want to do more research.

3. ina may's guide to childbirth by ina may gaskin. i loved reading this book and learned a lot about the amazing capabilities women have in giving birth. her website has some interesting reads as well and worth checking out.

4. birthing naturally. again, another site where i don't remember how i found, but one that i return to. i found the christian childbirth section to be especially helpful for me in understanding how to take a more Christ-centered approach in my childbirth choices.

5. the bible. making time to reconnect with God helps me to focus on what's important and reaffirms my faith that when labor comes that i have nothing to fear or worry because i know the Lord will be with me. compiling a few memory verses to recall during labor has been a tremendous gift. even when i can't recall the exact words anymore because the pain requires all my energy and focus, i can still rest on the basic ideas of those verses.

6. the business of being born. this is an interesting documentary on birth in the united states.

7. waterbirth.org. i came across this site when i was first pregnant with emma. i had never heard of waterbirths before then and found it to be quite a fascinating option for childbirth. ellen, my midwife during emma's pregnancy, had addressed the possibility of doing a waterbirth with me though it would only have happened if she was the attending midwife when emma was born. i decided against it since i wasn't even sure if she would be the one doing the delivery...i didn't want to get my hopes up for nothing (turns out she did do the delivery and i probably should have considered the option). colleen (who had ellen deliver all 3 of her kids via waterbirth...small world, eh?), my current midwife, also specializes in waterbirths, and since she runs her own practice there was definitely a good chance i could do it. although i had planned a waterbirth with gibson, i didn't have a chance to experience it (you'll read more about that later). i'm hoping that i can do that with this baby.

8. the birth partner by penny simkin. i know this book is meant for the labor companions, but i read it and then relayed the information to aaron. my particular favorites were the section on the labor stages, comfort measures during labor and strategies to apply when experiencing variations in normal labor.

9. pregnancy, childbirth and the newborn by penny simkin, et al. a friend sent me this book when i was first pregnant with emma and i continue to refer to it with each pregnancy. this book offers much information without being quick to jump on the intervention/medication bandwagon. both this book and #8 above offer a wealth of information on childbirth, and have really helped me understand the natural process of childbirth.

10. gentle birth, gentle mothering by sarah buckley and pushed by jennifer block. i'm in the process of reading sarah buckley's book and plan to continue with pushed once i finish buckley's book. i think the section i found most valuable so far in buckley's book is chapter 4 (i'm only up to chapter 6 out of 13). she gives a great little "formula" on how to make wise decisions during your pregnancy and childbirth experience, and i appreciate the emphasis she places on the importance of being well-informed patients. i can't give you much on pushed since i haven't read it yet, but i have heard that it's a definite eye-opening book on the business of childbirth and current trends in maternity care.

oh baby :: emma's debut

2011-01-17T09:14:00.002-05:00

a birth story.

i had always planned on writing down my birth stories but never did. why would i want to? so i can share them with my children, and so i can remember them myself. especially since each one was so different. and now, with the birth of our 3rd child quickly approaching i really think i should probably get on the ball about writing them down.

so i begin with our first born. the writing may not be eloquent, but it has been almost 5 years so some things do get a little blurry (this is why i should have written it down earlier!).

*****

emma was originally due on the 20^th of June [2006]. from what i had read and been told, babies of 1st pregnancies don't usually arrive early or on time. but they do tend to arrive fashionably late. so i had planned on her arrival a few days after the 20th.

in fact, i was out of town (1.5 hours away) from the 10th-11th of june. i had not experienced any braxton hicks through out my pregnancy, so i really believed that this baby was going to come later than expected. the morning of the 11th, i had experienced a few minor tightening sensations but immediately dismissed them as braxton hicks. i had a few more later on in the day, but after that everything was quiet. i remember feeling excited that i finally got to experience some sort of pre-labor signs since i hadn't had any throughout the tail end of my pregnancy.

well it's a good thing that we came home that sunday. i woke up around 4:30 a.m. on monday to some serious abdominal cramping. i mean serious. holy moly! this was not the same experience as yesterday? are braxton hicks supposed to hurt this bad? and i was 8 days before my due date. there's no way i could be in labor this early. no way.

aaron was out, and i didn't bother waking him because i wasn't even sure if these were the real deal. i had read many birth stories to help me prepare for this birth, and i remember reading about how a few 1st time moms were sent back home because they weren't dilated enough despite the contractions. our hospital was 30 minutes away, and i wasn't about to pack up and go at 4:30 in the morning to drive half an hour only to be turned away and drive another 30 minutes back to the house. or what if the hospital checked me in and my labor slows down? i had also read some experiences where mothers ended up having a medicated deliveries because they were now on the hospital's clock. if labor doesn't progress enough, what if i got pressured into taking something to speed up labor when i had really planned on a natural delivery? i had a midwife who supported my natural birth choice, but what if she caved under pressure of hospital politics? i didn't want to risk that either. nope. i'll ride it out and then go back to sleep, because surely this was not the real deal anyway.

i remember barely falling asleep only to wake to the same pain half an hour later. i decided to grab a notebook and pen, in case this was “the real deal,” and notate how far apart the contractions were.

6:00 a.m. and i was back up with more contractions. the contractions were pretty regular as soon as they had started though they were about 7-10 minutes apart. i did try to wake aaron up at this point to let him know that i was having contractions, but he only mumbled and went back to sleep. nice. i thought the husband was supposed to play a supportive role in all this? this was not how we practiced at all. on the plus side, the contractions weren't anything i couldn't handle on my own. they were painful, but never excruciating.

i decided to try a warm shower since i couldn't go back to sleep. the warmth of the water helped, and i spent some time in prayer and meditated on some of the memory verses i picked out to give me encouragement through the laboring process. i remember, after praying that a warm, tingling sensation came over me, and i was overtaken with a feeling of peacefulness. it was a surreal experience and at that moment i knew that the Lord would be with me through this whole process.

7:00 a.m. and i was convinced this had to be it. i was finally able to get aaron up so he could notify his parents to watch ty while we were in the hospital. for some reason, he didn't sense any urgency in me because after he made the call he decided to shower and shave. i remember overhearing ty ask aaron, "can i take a bath after your shower?" and me thinking, "NOOOO. no time for bath. why are you showering? and shaving? i'm in pain and you're showering? no bath!" aaron told me later that it didn't look like i was in pain at all, so he thought it wasn't a big deal to shower and do his regular morning routine (ha, ha...maybe next time i should start screaming?).

8:00 a.m. and it was evident that the pain was increasing. we decided to call the hospital since the contractions were 5 minutes apart and increasing in frequency. i made aaron call for me, but the lady on the phone insisted that she speak to me (didn't she know i was in to much pain to speak coherently? how am i supposed to focus working through my contractions when i'm being asked 3 times to spell out my last name over the phone?). after some unsuccessful attempts at getting the details she wanted from me (did i already mention that she asked me to spell my last name 3 times? t.h.r.e.e....while i'm having some serious contractions) i told her she needed to talk to my husband. it was determined that i should come in and get checked out.

8:30 a.m. and the 3 of us piled into the car (aaron's parents hadn't made it down yet so they got re-directed to the hospital) and began the 30 minute drive, in rush hour traffic, to the hospital. the drive sucked (for lack of a better term). i just being REALLY uncomfortable and the pain increasing EVEN MORE than half an hour before. the worst part was that i had no. where. to. go. i was stuck in a car. in rush hour traffic. all the cars seemed like they were driving too SLOW. and we weren't going fast enough, even though aaron was speeding.

during the pregnancy, i had envisioned myself walking on my own when the time came to check into the hospital. it was going to be lovely and beautiful and i could work through all the contractions that way.

unlike my vision, once we arrived at the hospital i couldn't even walk. it seemed like every second i had a really painful contraction. i felt like crawling. how was i going to make it to the labor and delivery floor when i couldn't even move my legs to walk? the wheelchair came to my rescue and we made it to our destination.

9:00 a.m. and everyone on the labor and delivery floor was very calm, despite the fact that i was feeling very frantic that this baby was going to come out at any minute. i coudlnt' understand why everyone was so calm. didn't they know this baby was getting ready to come out, now? right now people! move it or lose it. stop asking me all these questions. get me to a room, stat!

they didn’t even put me in the actual birthing room yet, and had me in another room to change my clothes (which I could barely do on my own with the frequent contractions) and take my vitals. then i said the magic word. "pressure." yes, ms. nurse, i was feeling some serious pressure. is it time to push yet? because i'm ready.

after that, the mood changed. the attending nurse went from calm to rush, rush, rush. more nurses came in. one asked me a bunch of questions, another checking my vitals, and another prepping the heart monitor for the baby, etc., etc.

aaron's aunt (who happened to work in the same hospital i was delivering in) came in to pick up tyler since aaron's parents hadn't arrived yet, but i barely remember that. my [super-awesome, amazing] midwife ellen was called immediately and she told me I was 100% effaced and 10 cm dilated! what?!? because things were happening so quickly, she had to take care of her patients (her office was just on the 1st floor) and would return as soon as i was ready to push.

after the protocol 15 minutes hooked up to the electric fetal monitor (EFM), i was unhooked and was able to move around. the rest of the time, they would monitor the fetal heart rate via a good, old fashioned stethoscope (yes, it is a bit more time consuming for the nurses to do this, but with the encouragement of my midwife it was a better choice if i wanted to remain mobile through the remainder of labor).

aaron's mom arrived soon after (i think) to help with the labor process. it was game time. i remember ellen breaking my water since it hadn't happened yet, but i didn't notice the contractions being that much more intense. i think it just became more frequent. the birth ball was heaven. i was very thankful that i had freedom to move since i wasn't hooked up to the EFM or an IV. they didn't even have time to do a hep-loc on me.

i don't remember the specific details of the rest of the laboring process. i remember there was another midwife present observing (she was doing her residency) and she offered to take photos. she was wonderful and full of support along with aaron and his mom. i remember getting lower back massages as i worked through the contractions. i remember aaron cracking jokes about my tea being ready each time the timer would go off on the baby warmer. i remember laughing, and i remember experiencing some intense internal focus. i remember aaron trying to get me to do the breathing techniques we learned in birth class and me throwing it out the window and deciding in the midst of labor that it was stupid and didn't work. there was no screaming. there was no crying. there was no writhing in pain.

i couldn't recall the memory verses anymore at this point. all i could do was remember that the Lord would see me through the end. what also helped me through this last part of labor was remembering that the pain served a purpose. it was my uterus changing to prepare for the arrival of the baby. it was a natural process. God's perfect design and his amazing engineering of a woman's body to give birth to another human being.

the baby was coming. when emma crowned, ellen grabbed my hand so that i could feel her head. it was very exciting and encouraging at the same time.

10:26 a.m. and with 2 pushes she was out. the cord was wrapped around her neck twice, but after assessing her health our 6 lbs. 15 oz., 19 in. long baby was immediately handed over to me. they cleaned her up while she was on my belly. how amazing it felt to have the baby immediately in your arms. another surreal, indescribable, magical moment. when ellen said she was a girl, we were surprised even though we had kept the sex of the baby unknown. we had been certain she was going to be a boy. but girl or boy, she was a blessing none the less.

ellen said it was a textbook birth. and i suppose being in labor for 6 hours wasn't so bad either. the hospital experience was great. the attending nurses were fabulous and they were all very respectful of my birth choices. i think that the respect given to us, coupled with our openness to change plans if medically necessary made the whole hospital experience pleasant.

before my 1st baby, i used to be fearful of giving birth, because of all the “horror” stories i heard and how birth was often portrayed (inaccurately) in movies. but there is no fear when you know that childbirth is a natural process. and there is no fear when you know and trust that God would never put you in a situation that you couldn't handle.

muffins for everyone!

2011-01-14T23:06:00.000-05:00

about a year and a half ago i came across a super, wonderful cinnamon applesauce muffin recipe over at mothering, and it has been one of my favorites to make since (aside from blueberry muffins).

it's so tasty (and easy to prepare) that i've made it for breakfast 2 days in a row this past week. the kiddies love them and i can eat 3 or 4 of them in one sitting, especially when you put a little butter on each half right after you pull it out of the oven so that the butter melts into the muffin. oh. so. good.

the best part (aside from licking the remaining batter at the end) is that this is a muffin for all....adults, children, older babies. plus it's vegan-friendly and if you have any sort of nut-soy-dairy-egg allergy you can shove these things in your mouth without having to worry about a reaction (we have friends who have allergy issues and this muffin recipe is a great way to prepare something delicious while being sensitive to their food allergies).

i also enjoyed making these when gibson was a wee bit older in his baby years, yet not quite old enough to consume foods with eggs (and there was that whole soy/pea allergy thing). it gave him a little food variety and introduced some new flavors (side note: if you make these for babies under 1 year, make sure to use the full amount of molasses called for in the recipe instead of mixing honey and molasses).

i took a break from making these today, but after posting i think i might have to make more.

wordless wednesday::the view from the top

2011-01-12T06:41:00.000-05:00

feet have ceased to exist...

more wordless wednesday here and here.